Brie

Brie is an Phone Fling girl in Crush Crush, available as a purchasable girl in the Store. She is the forty-eighth (48th) addition to the main list. Brie is available as a dateable DLC girl when the player purchases her bundle and finishes her Phone Fling.

Personality

Brie is a quirky, bubbly astronaut from the planet Rodentia. She originally came to the Milky Way in search of cheese, having heard a rumor that the Earth’s moon might actually be a large wheel of Camembert. She was, of course, disappointed.

Now she’s decided to stick around and spend some time learning about life on Earth - with you as her guide! It’s a fun time, considering Brie’s ability to approach everything with impossible optimism and a happy-go-lucky attitude.

In Brie’s world, the universe is an exciting place just waiting to be explored, the future is a grand adventure simply waiting to happen, and love is, above all else, the most powerful force in existence.

Messages

SFW version

Progress	SFW chat	NSFW chat
1/28	INCOMING TRANSMISSION.
2/28	...
3/28	...
4/28	...
5/28	Hello?
6/28	Is anyone there?
7/28	Oh! It says "message delivered!"
8/28	Sweet! Someone's reading, at least.
9/28	Okay.
10/28	Hiiiiii!!!
11/28	Whoever you are, I'm hoping you can help me.
12/28	I seem to be a bit lost, and my nav systems are down.
13/28	Could you point me in the general direction of Earth's moon, please?
(A)	Umm... Up? I guess?
(B)	Damn, how lost are you?
14/28	Okay, I know I said "general direction" before.	I feel like if I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't need help.
15/28	But I think maybe I need you to be a liiiiiittle bit more specific.	But alas.
16/28	Oof. Bare with me - I'm using voice-to-text. Hopefully everything's coming through okay.
17/28	Oh, I should introduce myself!
18/28	The thing is, my actual name is only pronounceable in an obscure Betelgeusian dialect, sooo...
19/28	You can just call me Brie!
(A)	Well... I'd "Brie" delighted to.
(B)	I'm sorry, an obscure what?
20/28	Whatever you just said... I don't think it translated properly. Hopefully it wasn't urgent.	The important thing is that we're communicating mostly effectively.
21/28	Because my situation kind of is.	And I'm in dire need of help.
22/28	My food stores are running low, and, you see, I'd really rather avoid starving.
(A)	That seems like a reasonable stance.
(B)	Yikes. That's bad. How can I help?
23/28	Yes! See? I don't ask for much.	Hmm...
24/28	I wish I could transmit my exact coordinates to you, but with my nav system down...
25/28	What if I send you a picture of a nearby landmark?
26/28	Maybe you'll recognize it, and we can figure out how to get me back on track?
(A)	Sure, I'm pretty worldly! Something's gotta look familiar!
(B)	I have my doubts, but I'll try my absolute best for you.
27/28	Great! Sending in three... Two... One...	That's all I can ask. Okay, sending now!
28/28	[Brie photo 1]
1/17	Whoops! Haha! I floated into the shot by accident.
2/17	Hopefully you can still see enough of the view.
(A)	Oh, yes. That view is... Quite nice.
(B)	Cheese and crackers! You're a... Mouse girl? In SPACE!?
3/17	I know. I don't think I'll ever get over the beauty of the stars.	Uh, yeah! I guess that description works.
4/17	But does that planet look familiar?
(A)	Sorry, I'm still utterly distracted by how attractive you are.
(B)	I mean... It kinda looks like a bowling ball?
5/17	Teehee, thanks! Should I give you a moment, or...?	A what now?
6/17	Listen... If you can't help...
7/17	Rats, I don't know what I'm going to do.
(A)	Don't worry, there's no way I'm leaving a damsel in distress stranded in space.
(B)	Sorry I've been useless so far. There must be something I can do...
8/17	That's very kind. You've inspired me to keep brainstorming.	I hope so. My comms system seems a bit iffy at the moment too, so I might not be able to reach anyone else.
9/17	Hmm. Are you the slightest bit tech savvy?
10/17	Maybe you can help me figure out how to repair my ship?
(A)	As a matter of fact, my tech savvy stat is pretty high!
(B)	I'm not great with tech, but I do have plot armor, so anything's possible!
11/17	Oh, great!	That could work.
12/17	So here's the deal.
13/17	As far as I can tell, something knocked me off course. Whether it was a gravitational anomaly or a bit of space trash, I don't know.
14/17	The impact messed up a bunch of systems, including my cryo-pod.
15/17	If it helps, take a look at this.
16/17	Security cams caught this just before the cryo-pod released me.
17/17	[Brie photo 2]
1/39	See the control panel on the right?
2/39	Those lights should not all be blue. That means the ship has no idea which direction it's going!
(A)	You look very peaceful in this picture. Like a sleeping angel...
(B)	That cryo-pod looks pretty cozy. Think there's room for two?
3/39	Seconds before disaster :( And by "disaster" I mean "waking up too early."	You seem like a very easily distracted individual. Cute, but easily distracted.
4/39	Long story short, when the cryo-pod malfunctioned I found myself drifting dangerously close to the homeworld of the Zerglops - a VERY territorial species, if you didn't know.
5/39	That led to a number of terrifying and rather questionable maneuvers as I tried to extricate myself from the situation with zero navigational data.
6/39	And now... Here I am.
7/39	So, any ideas on how to reset the nav system?
(A)	What if you ask it nicely to start working again?
(B)	Right, you need to align the engine output, unlock the manifolds, and swipe your ID card.
8/39	Silent treatment. Even though I said "pretty please with cheddar on top."	Please, I completed all those tasks ages ago!
9/39	It's definitely something to do with this control panel.
(A)	Did you try pressing and holding that square button in the middle?
(B)	What if you just smash your whole hand down on all the buttons at once?
10/39	Press and hold? Okay, let me see.	I'll try anything at this point.
11/39	Nope, I'm pretty sure I just broke it more.
12/39	Argh! This sucks!
13/39	I've GOT to find a way to get to Earth's moon.
(A)	Okay, I have to ask... Why are you so determined to get to the moon?
(B)	I'd give you the moon if I could, you know. I'm a romantic like that.
14/39	Why, because it's made of cheese!	And in exchange for such an enormous wheel of cheese? I'd give you my heart!
15/39	Earth's moon: no less than the finest camembert, they say.
16/39	Oooh, my mouth waters just thinking about it.
(A)	Oh. Oh no.
(B)	Wait... What?
17/39	Oh, yes!	It's going to be glorious.
18/39	That soft, creamy, pungent delicacy...
19/39	Perfectly ripened, perfectly smooth...
20/39	I can't wait to get my lips around it.
(A)	I feel like I need to tell you something...
(B)	Well now I'm just thinking about your lips. I can't even remember what I was going to say.
21/39	Hold that thought.	Hang on...
22/39	Did you hear that?
23/39	What am I saying, of course you didn't. You're not on the ship with me.
(A)	Is everything okay? What did you hear?
(B)	It was probably the sound of my heart pounding at the thought of you.
24/39	I'm not sure. It's sort of a banging noise...	Aww, that's so cute! But I really don't think that was it.
25/39	It sounds like something... I don't know... Crawling around in the vents?
26/39	I'd better investigate.
(A)	Wait, really? But it could be dangerous!
(B)	You're brave. I like that in a woman.
27/39	What choice do I have?	Well, I'm trying to be!
28/39	Wish me luck.
29/39	If you don't hear from me, I was probably eaten by a Xylonmorph.
Pause	15 minute pause
30/39	[S.O.S.]
31/39	[S.O.S.]
32/39	[S.O.S.]
(A)	Brie!? What's happening?
(B)	Uh oh. That doesn't sound good.
33/39	[S.O.S.]
34/39	[S.O.S.]
35/39	[S.O.S.]
(A)	Any chance that stands for Super Okay Situation?
(B)	Brie! Answer me!
36/39	Oh, hey! You're still there!	I'm still here! I'm okay, kind of!
37/39	The ship is programmed to send out an automated distress call when it senses a certain amount of... Um... Chaos. Aboard.
38/39	And on that note... I found out what was making all that noise in the vents!
39/39	[Brie photo 3]
(A)	Brie, look out! There's an alien monster behind you!
(B)	Omg! Are you hurt? Your spacesuit is all ripped!
1/18	You think!?	Is it? I didn't notice!
2/18	I've been playing the galaxy's most intense game of hide-and-seek with this thing!	Must have happened when I was sprinting through corridors and climbing into service ducts.
3/18	Side note, running from a bloodthirsty vacuum-squid that's chasing you in circles through an enclosed space is pretty decent cardio.
4/18	I managed to lure it into the airlock.
5/18	Now I've just... Got... To get... This DOOR CLOSED!
(A)	You can do it, Brie! Think of the moon!
(B)	Don't panic! Do you know where your towel is?
6/18	You're right! I have to survive this!	My WHAT?
7/18	...FOR THE CHEESE!	Oh, no, this isn't looking good.
8/18	It's my last chance...!!!
9/18	AAHHH!!!
Pause	5 minute pause
10/18	I...
11/18	I did it...
12/18	That was totally exhilarating!
13/18	I feel so alive!
(A)	You're incredible! You really showed that space monster who's boss!
(B)	Thank goodness you're okay! I was so scared!
14/18	I think the key was all those words of encouragement you sent me.	Aww... I'm touched that you care about me so much.
15/18	You seem like a really special person.
16/18	It's too bad you're not here to help patch me up.
17/18	I've got more than a couple of bumps and bruises after that fiasco.
18/18	[Brie photo 4]
(A)	I wish I could make it all better.
(B)	Don't you have any advanced alien medical tech that can heal you faster?
1/24	You're already making things better just by being here, keeping me company.	There is an Auto Doc onboard, but I don't think it's worth the energy resources right now.
2/24	Reminding me that things are okay, even after everything that just happened.	Not with everything else that's gone wrong.
3/24	Gosh, I wish I knew how that tentacle creature got on board.
4/24	But hey, at least now I know what caused the damage to my ship!
(A)	But what are you going to do now? You're still not any closer to a solution.
(B)	That's great, but we still need to figure out how to fix said damage.
5/24	No, I'm not...	Yes, we do...
6/24	But at this very moment, I just want to take a break.
7/24	Luckily, according to my readings, that nearby mystery planet has a vast network of "healing rivers" on its surface.
8/24	So I'm going to go down there and rest up for a little while.
(A)	Wow... I couldn't have written a happier coincidence!
(B)	I could use some rest too after all the anxiety this conversation has given me.
9/24	Right? It almost makes me wonder if the universe is somehow looking out for us.	Heh... Sorry about that.
10/24	Either way, I'm really just glad I didn't lose contact with you during all that chaos.	Space adventures can get pretty crazy :)
11/24	Wow... I'm entering the planet's atmosphere now, and the colors look amazing.
12/24	I think I see a nice landing spot.
13/24	Aaaannd... Touchdown!
14/24	My scans show no signs of life, except for animals and insects.
15/24	Looks like I really and truly am alone.
(A)	You're not truly alone. I'm with you. At least in spirit.
(B)	I bet it's very peaceful.
16/24	Ah, the wonders of technology. It offers so much, yet never enough.	Are you in need of some peace?
17/24	It's too bad you can't somehow teleport here.
18/24	Wherever "here" is.
19/24	I'm just thankful that the messages I sent randomly into the void ended up being delivered to you.
20/24	I don't know how we connected... But I'm so happy that we did.
21/24	And since you seem to enjoy my looks so much...
22/24	I wanted to share this with you.
23/24	As a thank you.
24/24	[Brie photo 5]
(A)	That water looks incredible. But not as incredible as you.
(B)	That water is green. Are you sure it's safe?
1/36	Everything about this moment is bliss.	Don't worry. I completed several rigorous scans to be sure of its properties before I jumped in.
2/36	This place feels so refreshing, so cleansing...
3/36	Even the air - it smells divine.
4/36	I hear music in the trees. Some type of local avian, I'm sure.
5/36	It's a beautiful planet.
6/36	I almost wouldn't mind staying here, if only it weren't missing the two most important things.
(A)	Coffee and a decent internet connection?
(B)	Let me guess. Cheese and... More cheese?
7/36	No, silly!	Haha! Well, you're half right.
8/36	The first thing is cheese, obviously.
9/36	And the second is... Someone special to share it with.
10/36	Sigh.
11/36	What's your planet like?
12/36	I want to know more about you and where you come from.
(A)	I'm actually from Earth. Small universe, huh?
(B)	Well, I'm a human. And we're pretty big fans of cheese too, generally speaking.
13/36	...You're from Earth?	Wait, you're a human? As in... An Earthling?
(A)	Yep!
(B)	Affirmative.
14/36	No way.	Are you serious?
15/36	And you're ON Earth? Like, right this very moment?
(A)	Last time I checked, yeah.
(B)	Am I in trouble?
16/36	Why didn't you say so sooner!?	No, no, of course not... This is amazing!
17/36	This is the best news I've heard all day!
18/36	Don't you see? You're almost exactly where I need to be, give or take 240,000 miles!!!
19/36	I'm transmitting the data for a homing signal directly to your device right now. Using that, I can guide my ship right to you!
20/36	I can't believe it!
21/36	I'm going to complete my mission after all!
(A)	Really? Yes! I knew I would end up helping somehow!
(B)	Oh wow... You did it! You're amazing! How long until you get here?
22/36	Yes! Yes! Thank you so much!	Calculating...
23/36	Let's see how far I've got left to go...	Wait... Are these numbers right?
24/36	I can't believe it - I'm only a solar system away!
25/36	This won't take long at all!
26/36	Cheese moon, I'm coming for you!
(A)	Oh yeah, about that...
(B)	Maybe you should forget the "cheese moon" and swing by Earth instead?
27/36	I can't wait! Omigosh, can I meet you?	Why not both!?
28/36	I'm going to be right there anyway. I'll just pop over to say hi!	I'd love to meet you in person <3
29/36	I'll even bring you some of my cheese spoils!
(A)	I don't know what to say, except... I DEFINITELY want to meet you.
(B)	Can I just ask... How well do you deal with disappointment?
30/36	This is fantastic! I've already forgotten all my troubles.	Aww, don't be so hard on yourself.
31/36	This trip has turned out even better than I ever could have imagined.	I bet you're even more amazing than I'm imagining. There's no way I'll be disappointed!
32/36	I'm doing it. I'm setting a course... For Earth!
Pause	15 minute pause
33/36	Eeehee! It's coming into view now!
34/36	Oh, and there's the moon!
Pause	2 minute pause
35/36	I'm heeeeere!
36/36	[Brie photo 6]
1/∞	And I'm mooning you!
2/∞	Can you see me down there? Heehee!
(A)	My eyesight isn't quite that good. Better come closer.
(B)	You're adorable! I can't get enough of you.
3/∞	Same! My species has terrible eyesight, but at least we have great hearing to make up for it.	Stop it, you! You're going to make my head swell up to the size of this moon!
4/∞	Well, it's time to grab my shovel and start digging for cheese!
5/∞	Wish me luck!
6/∞	And with any luck, I'll be seeing you very soon.
(A)	Make it so!
(B)	I still say you should forget the moon and come straight here.
7/∞	The time will come soon enough.	As much as I like you... No way!
8/∞	And we'll feast on mountains of cheese together!	I must complete my mission!
9/∞	Teehee!
10/∞	Bye for now!

Moist version

Progress	Moist and Uncensored chat
1/28	INCOMING TRANSMISSION.
2/28	...
3/28	...
4/28	...
5/28	Hello?
6/28	Is anyone there?
7/28	Oh! It says "message delivered!"
8/28	Sweet! Someone's reading, at least.
9/28	Okay.
10/28	Hiiiiii!!!
11/28	Whoever you are, I'm hoping you can help me.
12/28	I seem to be a bit lost, and my nav systems are down.
13/28	Could you point me in the general direction of Earth's moon, please?
(A)	Umm... Up? I guess?
(B)	Damn, how lost are you?
14/28	Okay, I know I said "general direction" before.	I feel like if I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't need help.
15/28	But I think maybe I need you to be a liiiiiittle bit more specific.	But alas.
16/28	Oof. Bare with me - I'm using voice-to-text. Hopefully everything's coming through okay.
17/28	Oh, I should introduce myself!
18/28	The thing is, my actual name is only pronounceable in an obscure Betelgeusian dialect, sooo...
19/28	You can just call me Brie!
(A)	Well... I'd "Brie" delighted to.
(B)	I'm sorry, an obscure what?
20/28	Whatever you just said... I don't think it translated properly. Hopefully it wasn't urgent.	The important thing is that we're communicating mostly effectively.
21/28	Because my situation kind of is.	And I'm in dire need of help.
22/28	My food stores are running low, and, you see, I'd really rather avoid starving.
(A)	That seems like a reasonable stance.
(B)	Yikes. That's bad. How can I help?
23/28	Yes! See? I don't ask for much.	Hmm...
24/28	I wish I could transmit my exact coordinates to you, but with my nav system down...
25/28	What if I send you a picture of a nearby landmark?
26/28	Maybe you'll recognize it, and we can figure out how to get me back on track?
(A)	Sure, I'm pretty worldly! Something's gotta look familiar!
(B)	I have my doubts, but I'll try my absolute best for you.
27/28	Great! Sending in three... Two... One...	That's all I can ask. Okay, sending now!
28/28	[Brie photo 1]
1/17	Whoops! Haha! I floated into the shot by accident.
2/17	Hopefully you can still see enough of the view.
(A)	Oh, yes. That view is... Quite nice.
(B)	Cheese and crackers! You're a... Mouse girl? In SPACE!?
3/17	I know. I don't think I'll ever get over the beauty of the stars.	Uh, yeah! I guess that description works.
4/17	But does that planet look familiar?
(A)	Sorry, I'm still utterly distracted by how sexy you are.
(B)	Yes. That curvature resembles a nice, firm, round breast...
5/17	Oh! You're making me blush...	Huh... You're right! Heehee! Now I can't unsee it.
6/17	*Ahem* But that's a little off-topic, don't you think?
7/17	Rats, I don't know what I'm going to do.
(A)	Don't worry, there's no way I'm leaving a damsel in distress stranded in space.
(B)	Sorry I've been useless so far. There must be something I can do...
8/17	That's very kind. You've inspired me to keep brainstorming.	I hope so. My comms system seems a bit iffy at the moment too, so I might not be able to reach anyone else.
9/17	Hmm. Are you the slightest bit tech savvy?
10/17	Maybe you can help me figure out how to repair my ship?
(A)	As a matter of fact, my tech savvy stat is pretty high!
(B)	I'm not great with tech, but I do have plot armor, so anything's possible!
11/17	Oh, great!	That could work.
12/17	So here's the deal.
13/17	As far as I can tell, something knocked me off course. Whether it was a gravitational anomaly or a bit of space trash, I don't know.
14/17	The impact messed up a bunch of systems, including my cryo-pod.
15/17	If it helps, take a look at this.
16/17	Security cams caught this just before the cryo-pod released me.
17/17	[Brie photo 2]
1/39	See the control panel on the right?
2/39	Those lights should not all be blue. That means the ship has no idea which direction it's going!
(A)	You're... You're very naked in this picture.
(B)	I know which direction I'd like to go. Crawling into that cryo-pod naked with you...
3/39	Oh, yeah. The cryo-pod isn't designed for inorganic materials, so we're advised not to wear clothing inside.	As much as I'd love to explore a sexy fantasy like that, I think fixing my ship is a tad more urgent.
4/39	Long story short, when the cryo-pod malfunctioned I found myself drifting dangerously close to the homeworld of the Zerglops - a VERY territorial species, if you didn't know.
5/39	That led to a number of terrifying and rather questionable maneuvers as I tried to extricate myself from the situation with zero navigational data.
6/39	And now... Here I am.
7/39	So, any ideas on how to reset the nav system?
(A)	What if you ask it nicely to start working again?
(B)	Right, you need to align the engine output, unlock the manifolds, and swipe your ID card.
8/39	Silent treatment. Even though I said "pretty please with cheddar on top."	Please, I completed all those tasks ages ago!
9/39	It's definitely something to do with this control panel.
(A)	Did you try pressing and holding that square button in the middle?
(B)	What if you just smash your whole hand down on all the buttons at once?
10/39	Press and hold? Okay, let me see.	I'll try anything at this point.
11/39	Nope, I'm pretty sure I just broke it more.
12/39	Argh! This sucks!
13/39	I've GOT to find a way to get to Earth's moon.
(A)	Okay, I have to ask... Why are you so determined to get to the moon?
(B)	I'd give you the moon if I could, you know. I'm a romantic like that.
14/39	Why, because it's made of cheese!	And in exchange for such an enormous wheel of cheese? I'd give you my heart!
15/39	Earth's moon: no less than the finest camembert, they say.
16/39	Oooh, my mouth waters just thinking about it.
(A)	Oh. Oh no.
(B)	Wait... What?
17/39	Oh, yes!	It's going to be glorious.
18/39	That soft, pungent delicacy... So rich and so ripe.
19/39	I can't wait to get my lips around it. Fill my mouth with that creamy, slightly sticky texture.
20/39	Is there anything more sensuous to swallow?
(A)	There's something you should know... But I also kind of want you to keep talking like that.
(B)	Get your lips around what now? I'm confused but excited.
21/39	Careful what you wish for. I could go all day.	Heehee. That's how I feel most of the time, too.
22/39	Hold on... Did you hear that?
23/39	What am I saying, of course you didn't. You're not on the ship with me.
(A)	If I was on the ship with you, we'd be making some noise of our own, that's for sure.
(B)	It was probably the sound of my heart pounding at the image of your naked body.
24/39	Ooo, don't tease me like that. I've been alone a long time. I think.	I had no idea my picture would have such an effect on you! Let's revisit that.
25/39	Right now it sounds like there's something... Crawling around in the vents?
26/39	I'd better investigate.
(A)	Wait, really? But it could be dangerous!
(B)	You're brave. I like that in a woman.
27/39	What choice do I have?	Well, I'm trying to be!
28/39	Wish me luck.
29/39	If you don't hear from me, I was probably eaten by a Xylonmorph.
Pause	15 minute pause
30/39	[S.O.S.]
31/39	[S.O.S.]
32/39	[S.O.S.]
(A)	Brie!? What's happening?
(B)	Uh oh. That doesn't sound good.
33/39	[S.O.S.]
34/39	[S.O.S.]
35/39	[S.O.S.]
(A)	Any chance that stands for Super Okay Situation?
(B)	Brie! Answer me!
36/39	Oh, hey! You're still there!	I'm still here! I'm okay, kind of!
37/39	The ship is programmed to send out an automated distress call when it senses a certain amount of... Um... Chaos. Aboard.
38/39	And on that note... I found out what was making all that noise in the vents!
39/39	[Brie photo 3]
(A)	Is this real, or some kind of sexy roleplay with holograms?
(B)	Omg! Are you hurt? Your spacesuit is barely there anymore!
1/18	Oh, I wish this was a holographic simulation!	Damn it... You're right! Now I'm mad.
2/18	I'd much rather be having sexy fun than, you know, actually fighting for my life.	Ripping my clothes off is for lovers ONLY!
3/18	Side note, running from a bloodthirsty vacuum-squid that's chasing you in circles through an enclosed space is pretty decent cardio.
4/18	I managed to lure it into the airlock.
5/18	Now I've just... Got... To get... This DOOR CLOSED!
(A)	You can do it, Brie! Think of the moon!
(B)	Don't panic! Do you know where your towel is?
6/18	You're right! I have to survive this!	My WHAT?
7/18	...FOR THE CHEESE!	Oh, no, this isn't looking good.
8/18	It's my last chance...!!!
9/18	AAHHH!!!
Pause	5 minute pause
10/18	I...
11/18	I did it...
12/18	That was totally exhilarating!
13/18	I feel so alive! And a little bit turned on!
(A)	Now that the danger has passed, I have to admit... That was kinda hot.
(B)	Oh thank goodness. I was feeling guilty about where my mind went after that picture.
14/18	Right? Excuse me while I go add "sexy action girl" to my résumé!	You mean you were thinking sexy stuff, right? Haha. We should explore that...
15/18	Oooh... After I finish dealing with... Everything.
16/18	It's too bad you're not here to help patch me up.
17/18	I've got more than a couple of bumps and bruises after that fiasco.
18/18	[Brie photo 4]
(A)	I wish I could kiss every inch of you better.
(B)	You should probably take what's left of that spacesuit off.
1/24	Mmm... That would be amazing.	Yes, good idea. I'm stripping down right now.
2/24	I definitely believe that affection is the best medicine. At least, aside from actual medicine.	It is so good to be nude... I feel more relaxed already.
3/24	Hey - thanks for standing by and continuing to answer my messages.
4/24	Just knowing you're out there somewhere is very comforting.
(A)	You deserve more than comfort. You deserve good cheese and multiple orgasms.
(B)	Imagine how much better you'd feel if we could do more than talk.
5/24	Hmm, maybe I'll have to engage in a little self-pleasure.	Oh, I have been.
6/24	Like I said before... I've been alone a long time.
7/24	Luckily, according to my readings, that nearby mystery planet has a vast network of "healing rivers" on its surface.
8/24	So I'm going to go down there and rest up for a little while.
(A)	And by "rest up" you mean...
(B)	Healing rivers, you say? Like... Sexual healing?
9/24	Make myself feel better in whatever way I can.	Hey, there's something catchy about that! It'd make a good song title.
10/24	I'm going to enjoy some solar rays and fresh air while I touch myself until I'm warm and happy...	And yes, hopefully. Though I'm sure it would be much more satisfying with a friend.
11/24	Wow... I'm entering the planet's atmosphere now, and the colors look amazing.
12/24	I think I see a nice landing spot.
13/24	Aaaannd... Touchdown!
14/24	My scans show no signs of life, except for animals and insects.
15/24	Looks like I really and truly am alone.
(A)	You're not truly alone. I'm with you. At least in spirit.
(B)	I bet it's very peaceful.
16/24	Ah, the wonders of technology. It offers so much, yet never enough.	Are you in need of some peace?
17/24	It's too bad you can't somehow teleport here.
18/24	Wherever "here" is.
19/24	I'm just thankful that the messages I sent randomly into the void ended up being delivered to you.
20/24	I don't know how we connected... But I'm so happy that we did.
21/24	And since you seem to enjoy looking at my body so much...
22/24	I wanted to share this with you.
23/24	As a thank you.
24/24	[Brie photo 5]
(A)	I'm jealous of that water. It gets to touch you all over.
(B)	I'll treasure this picture forever. Your beauty is otherworldly.
1/36	The water is warm and refreshing, but I don't disagree. I wish it were your hands instead.	You only think that because we're from different worlds. But still... I'm glad you think so <3
2/36	This place feels so refreshing, so cleansing...
3/36	Even the air - it smells divine.
4/36	I hear music in the trees. Some type of local avian, I'm sure.
5/36	It's a beautiful planet.
6/36	I almost wouldn't mind staying here, if only it weren't missing the two most important things.
(A)	A vibrator and a decent internet connection?
(B)	Is one of those things a gentle and generous lover?
7/36	...Now I'm wondering if I should change my answer.	Well, yes. But that's not how I was going to phrase it.
8/36	The first thing is cheese, obviously.
9/36	And the second is... Someone special to share it with.
10/36	Sigh.
11/36	What's your planet like?
12/36	I want to know more about you and where you come from.
(A)	I'm actually from Earth. Small universe, huh?
(B)	Well, I'm a human. And we're pretty big fans of cheese too, generally speaking.
13/36	...You're from Earth?	Wait, you're a human? As in... An Earthling?
(A)	Yep!
(B)	Affirmative.
14/36	No way.	Are you serious?
15/36	And you're ON Earth? Like, right this very moment?
(A)	Last time I checked, yeah.
(B)	Am I in trouble?
16/36	Why didn't you say so sooner!?	No, no, of course not... This is amazing!
17/36	This is the best news I've heard all day!
18/36	Don't you see? You're almost exactly where I need to be, give or take 240,000 miles!!!
19/36	I'm transmitting the data for a homing signal directly to your device right now. Using that, I can guide my ship right to you!
20/36	I can't believe it!
21/36	I'm going to complete my mission after all!
(A)	Really? Yes! I knew I would end up helping somehow!
(B)	Oh wow... You did it! You're amazing! How long until you get here?
22/36	Yes! Yes! Thank you so much!	Calculating...
23/36	Let's see how far I've got left to go...	Wait... Are these numbers right?
24/36	I can't believe it - I'm only a solar system away!
25/36	This won't take long at all!
26/36	Cheese moon, I'm coming for you!
(A)	Oh yeah, about that...
(B)	Maybe you should forget the "cheese moon" and swing by Earth instead?
27/36	I can't wait! Omigosh, can I meet you?	Why not both!?
28/36	I'm going to be right there anyway. I'll just pop over to say hi!	I'd love to meet you in person <3
29/36	I'll even bring you some of my cheese spoils!
(A)	I don't know what to say, except... I DEFINITELY want to meet you.
(B)	Can I just ask... How well do you deal with disappointment?
30/36	This is fantastic! I've already forgotten all my troubles.	Aww, don't be so hard on yourself.
31/36	This trip has turned out even better than I ever could have imagined.	I bet you're even more amazing than I'm imagining. There's no way I'll be disappointed!
32/36	I'm doing it. I'm setting a course... For Earth!
Pause	15 minute pause
33/36	Eeehee! It's coming into view now!
34/36	Oh, and there's the moon!
Pause	2 minute pause
35/36	I'm heeeeere!
36/36	[Brie photo 6]
1/∞	And I'm mooning you!
2/∞	Can you see me down there? Heehee!
(A)	How could I miss such an amazing ass? Hubba hubba!
(B)	Wait, so you're hot AND you have an immature sense of humor? I think I'm in love!
3/∞	Aww! Good to know all that time I spent in the squat-o-matic wasn't wasted <3	Who'd have thought two alien species would have such great chemistry together?
4/∞	Well, it's time to grab my shovel and start digging for cheese!
5/∞	Wish me luck!
6/∞	And with any luck, I'll be seeing you very soon.
(A)	Make it so!
(B)	I still say you should forget the moon and come straight here.
7/∞	The time will come soon enough.	As much as I like you... No way!
8/∞	And we'll feast on mountains of cheese together!	I must complete my mission!
9/∞	Teehee!
10/∞	Bye for now!

Dialogue List

First Meeting

1. Foreseeing Brie's disappointment on the moon, you put on your spacesuit and head out to meet her. You find her using a sonic shovel to dig into the rocky surface.
2. You watch as she picks up a moon rock, brings it to her mouth, and...
3. Tooth - CRUSHED!
4. "What!? But...!!! I don't understand! WHY ISN'T IT MADE OF CHEESE?" Brie cries. Luckily, you brought just the thing to cheer her up! You certainly don't want her to feel like she came all this way for nothing.

Adversary

• I can't believe... The moon isn't... Made of cheese. *Sob*

Sorry

• I traveled such a long way... Sailed through hostile alien territory, got lost, took my chances with a VERY sketchy-looking extradimensional shortcut... And for what? No, seriously, for what? I've still got that post-cryosleep brain fog so I'm a little confused.
• So the rumors aren't true? I risked my life in search of brie, gruyère, or roquefort... And all I found was a big gray rock. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
• Fee, fi, fo fum... I'm feeling a little glum. Whoever said "the moon is made of cheese" was full of phooey!
• I want to believe... That everything's going to be okay.

Gift

• The concept of a "gift" does not exist on my planet. I feel... Awkward and embarrassed. Woop woop woop woop woop!

Poke

• Zarking fardwarks! You spooked me!

Upgrade to Nuisance

1. Okay, so your moon isn't made of cheese. Pretty disappointing, but not the heat death of the universe. I can still salvage this mission. Somehow.
2. There's cheese on Earth, you say? Well, in that case... What are we waiting for!? Let's GOUDA!

You've made first contact with an alien race!

Nuisance

• Where are my manners? Na-nu na-nu! I'm very glad to meet you. Are all Earthlings this warm and welcoming, or are you special?

Sorry

• Fee, fi, fo fum... I'm feeling a little glum. Whoever said "the moon is made of cheese" was full of phooey!
• I want to believe... That everything's going to be okay.
• Ahem. So... I guess you want to see some documentation. You're Earth's galactic representative, right? Hang on a moment. (Where did I put that multipass...?)
• Silver lining alert! I've always been fascinated by space aliens, so it's REALLY exciting to meet you. Although I guess, from your perspective, I'M the space alien. Hahaha!
• By the way, thanks for keeping me company while I was lost in space. Who knows where I would have ended up without those directions you gave me! Probably stuck in the middle of the Delta Quadrant or something. Nooo thank you.
• I should probably phone home. But not before I come up with a Plan B! Or should I say... Plan Brie?

Gift

• The concept of a "gift" does not exist on my planet. I feel... Awkward and embarrassed. Woop woop woop woop woop!

Poke

• Eeeya! Your fingers are so pokey. Is this some form of Earthling communication? What does it mean?

Upgrade to Frenemy

1. Help me, Earthling... You're my only hope. You see, my homeworld is facing an unprecedented global cheese shortage...
2. Okay, that sounded WAY more serious than I meant it. For the record: we're not starving, the fate of my species doesn't hang in the balance, and I'm definitely not trying to be a hero. We're just outta cheese and we collectively want nachos.

You and Brie are Frenemies!

Frenemy

• As you can clearly see, I come in peace. Now take me to your chief cheesemonger!

Sorry

• Ahem. So... I guess you want to see some documentation. You're Earth's galactic representative, right? Hang on a moment. (Where did I put that multipass...?)
• Silver lining alert! I've always been fascinated by space aliens, so it's REALLY exciting to meet you. Although I guess, from your perspective, I'M the space alien. Hahaha!
• By the way, thanks for keeping me company while I was lost in space. Who knows where I would have ended up without those directions you gave me! Probably stuck in the middle of the Delta Quadrant or something. Nooo thank you.
• I should probably phone home. But not before I come up with a Plan B! Or should I say... Plan Brie?
• How much cheese, exactly, does Earth have? Can we enter into a trade agreement, or should I "phone home" and tell them to launch a hostile invasion? Kidding, kidding! Haha!
• Mission log, stardate 69-53X. I have received intel that there may be cheese deposits on planet Earth. My contact is a marshmallow-like Earthling who also happens to be very attrac- Eeek! How long have you been standing there!? How much did you hear!?
• Earth... The final frontier! Not really though. There are a lot of places in the universe I haven't been to yet. It's just a fun thing to say for some reason!
• Earth's gravity is lower than on Rodentia. That must be why my hair and bazoombas are so extra BOUNCY here!
• Ooo, I just wanna eat ALL the things. I've been subsisting on food pills for WAY too long, my friend.
• You ever hear of a cow being tractor-beamed up into a spaceship? Yeah, that was us. See, we needed them for cheese-making purposes. Then someone discovered hamburgers, and now... Here we are. Cheese shortage.

Gift

• Do I now possess this? Amazing! I believe the correct term is "thank you." Yes, thank you!

Poke

• Eeeya! Your fingers are so pokey. Is this some form of Earthling communication? What does it mean?

Upgrade to Acquaintance

1. Ack ack ack! Oh, ack! My universal translator seems to ack ack glitching... Ack ack moment please!
2. Okay, I've completed the recalibration. It should be working fine now. I'm going to keep talking for a minute just to be sure, aaaand... Yep! Seems fine. So, where were we?

You and Brie are Acquaintances!

Acquaintance

• I just discovered the most incredible food in the universe. MOZZA STICKS. Mmm, deep-fried ooey-gooey goodness... How many of these do you think I can fit in my luggage? It's not going to be enough.

Talk

• Earth... The final frontier! Not really though. There are a lot of places in the universe I haven't been to yet. It's just a fun thing to say for some reason!
• Earth's gravity is lower than on Rodentia. That must be why my hair and bazoombas are so extra BOUNCY here!
• Ooo, I just wanna eat ALL the things. I've been subsisting on food pills for WAY too long, my friend.
• You ever hear of a cow being tractor-beamed up into a spaceship? Yeah, that was us. See, we needed them for cheese-making purposes. Then someone discovered hamburgers, and now... Here we are. Cheese shortage.
• Some friends of mine crash-landed on this planet a few decades back. I think it was a place called... Rose-something? Roswell! That was it. Oh, boy, the stories they told. Missing time, telepathic communication, physical experiments. You Earthlings have some weird methods, that's for sure.
• Technically, I wasn't supposed to talk to you. It breaks all kinds of non-interference clauses. But the way I see it, first contact has to happen sometime!

Gift

• Do I now possess this? Amazing! I believe the correct term is "thank you." Yes, thank you!

Poke

• Eeeya! Your fingers are so pokey. Is this some form of Earthling communication? What does it mean?
• Eeee! Eeeheeheee! What do you call this? "Tickling"? It's so funny!

Upgrade to Friendzoned

1. It's so nice having someone to hang out with. Interstellar travel gets pretty lonely, and those hyperspace monsters are terrible conversationalists.
2. So... Thanks for being cooler than a spaceship-eating tentacle beast! I know, it's not a high bar, but still. I appreciate it.

You're in the Friendzone with Brie!

Friendzoned

• Did you bring me more cheese? Where are you hiding it? Don't make me probe you! Heehee!

Talk

• Hey, you're pretty fun to be around! Also, Earth cheese is primo. I no longer regret traveling 92,876 lightyears and using up twelve whole hyper-warp crystals to get here. Worth it!
• I'm so glad the intergalactic council scrapped their plans to destroy the Earth and build a hyperspace expressway in its place. I would've lost out on a lot of good cheese if that happened. And I wouldn't have met you!
• My species is capable of experiencing time in a nonlinear fashion. That means I already know what's going to happen between us. No spoilers, but... I'm REALLY looking forward to it.
• Can you explain something to me? Spicy hot sauce. Where I come from, "spice" is the rarest commodity there is, yet you Earthlings seem to put that shazbot on EVERYTHING.
• My spacesuit may look skimpy, but it actually has advanced thermal protection, battle-ready armor, an air-recycling system, and POCKETS!
• I used to work as a mechanic for a small battalion of do-gooders devoted to helping those in trouble. Would you like to see our news clippings?

Gift

• Whoaaa! I don't know what this is, but I love that you gave it to me! So do I eat it, or should I put it in a specimen jar to bring back home?

Poke

• Eeeya! Your fingers are so pokey. Is this some form of Earthling communication? What does it mean?
• Eeee! Eeeheeheee! What do you call this? "Tickling"? It's so funny!

Upgrade to Awkward Besties

1. You've made me feel so welcome here on Earth. I'm really glad you were my first contact. In fact, I'm going to nominate you for a Galaxy's Nicest Being award!
2. I made that up. Which means you win! Here's your trophy - I sculpted it out of cheese just for you.

Brie has become your Awkward Bestie!

Awkward Besties

• I'm growing quite fondue you. Oops! I must have been thinking about cheese again.

Flirt

• Can you explain something to me? Spicy hot sauce. Where I come from, "spice" is the rarest commodity there is, yet you Earthlings seem to put that shazbot on EVERYTHING.
• My spacesuit may look skimpy, but it actually has advanced thermal protection, battle-ready armor, an air-recycling system, and POCKETS!
• I used to work as a mechanic for a small battalion of do-gooders devoted to helping those in trouble. Would you like to see our news clippings?
• Do you want to see a picture of my dog? Well, actually, he's a genetically modified experiment designed to cause intergalactic chaos and destruction, but he's kind of like a dog. Either way, he's family and I love him!
• I've always felt an inexplicable pull towards corn fields. Also, I enjoy a good maze. So to find out you Earthlings have combined them to create "corn mazes" is basically the most terrific thing I've EVER heard and I NEED to experience one ASAP.
• The truth is out there. You can usually find it chilling near Alpha Centauri, at this little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that serves the best falafel you'll EVER eat. It's not hard to believe, if you really want to.
• The universe is full of intelligent life. Aaaand not-so-intelligent life. Sometimes they even coexist on the same planet!

Gift

• Whoaaa! I don't know what this is, but I love that you gave it to me! So do I eat it, or should I put it in a specimen jar to bring back home?

Poke

• Eeee! Eeeheeheee! What do you call this? "Tickling"? It's so funny!
• Ahaha! Not this time! Deflector shields, activate!

Upgrade to Crush

1. You know, Earth really isn't all that different from Rodentia. Except... Well... I'm happier here. For some reason.
2. That reason is you. You're a truly stellar individual!

Brie has a Crush on you! Watch out for strange alien courting rituals!

Crush

• Whoa. Being around you makes my heart beat SO fast. Wanna feel? Go ahead, put your hands on my chest! Aww, you Earthlings are so shy.

Flirt

• I stayed up all night watching historical documentaries on your television set. I had no idea Earth was part of a united federation of planets, OR that you had an order of knights with plasma-swords! When can I meet all these Earth heroes!?
• I've been feeling queasy lately, so I consulted the auto-doc on my spaceship. It noted that my symptoms are triggered by your presence and diagnosed me with... Butterflies?
• Brrr. Earth is much colder than my planet. I request mutual limb enclosure.
• You look a bit run down. Do you want to try out my cryo-sleep chamber? It's SO refreshing! Oh, but the minimum sleep period is ten years... I'd rather not miss you for that long.
• I'm bored. Let's go make some crop circles! We can make funny shapes like hearts or butts... Or both!
• What makes you happy? I want to know so I can reciprocate all the kindness you've shown me.

Gift

• You're too good to me. How can I ever repay you? Do you want a plasma coil? Some dark matter? I don't have much to give!

Poke

• Eeee! Eeeheeheee! What do you call this? "Tickling"? It's so funny!
• Ahaha! Not this time! Deflector shields, activate!

Upgrade to Sweetheart

1. I have a request. It's something that'll be a small step for you... And a giant leap for our relationship.
2. I want you... To kiss me. Resistance is futile. My lips are ready when you are!

You and Brie are squeakhearts! I mean Sweethearts!

Sweetheart

• Hug, please! Ahh... Your arms are like an escape pod, carrying me away from the stresses of everyday life.

Flirt

• You look a bit run down. Do you want to try out my cryo-sleep chamber? It's SO refreshing! Oh, but the minimum sleep period is ten years... I'd rather not miss you for that long.
• I'm bored. Let's go make some crop circles! We can make funny shapes like hearts or butts... Or both!
• What makes you happy? I want to know so I can reciprocate all the kindness you've shown me.
• I just realized... You kind of look like a cute little cheese curd. No wonder I want to nibble on you!
• If you ever want to visit Rodentia, I'd be happy to escort you. We can tour the Leaning Tower of Cheeza, the Great Wall of Feta, the Hanging Gardens of Provolone... Plus you can meet my parents and all fifty-six of my siblings!
• I used my ship's synthetron to make you some new pants. Space pants. Because your butt is out of this world!

Gift

• You're too good to me. How can I ever repay you? Do you want a plasma coil? Some dark matter? I don't have much to give!

Poke

• Ahaha! Not this time! Deflector shields, activate!
• Ahaha! Noo! Maybe I can escape your tickles if I use my cloaking device? Frak, I think I left it at home!

Upgrade to Girlfriend

1. Huh... I just realized I never actually contacted Squeakfleet Command to let them know my mission went off-course.
2. Oh well! Time moves at lightspeed when you're having fun. I'm sure they'll understand once they hear about how wonderful you are. Heehee!

Brie is your Girlfriend!

Girlfriend

• You are fast becoming the center of my universe.

Flirt

• I just realized... You kind of look like a cute little cheese curd. No wonder I want to nibble on you!
• If you ever want to visit Rodentia, I'd be happy to escort you. We can tour the Leaning Tower of Cheeza, the Great Wall of Feta, the Hanging Gardens of Provolone... Plus you can meet my parents and all fifty-six of my siblings!
• I used my ship's synthetron to make you some new pants. Space pants. Because your butt is out of this world!
• It's too bad you don't share my exceptional hearing capabilities. My species uses ultrasound to serenade each other with love songs... But I'm too shy to do it at a volume other Earthlings might hear.

Gift

• I can say with confidence that you're the most giving, most generous person in the whole entire galaxy.

Poke

• Ahaha! Not this time! Deflector shields, activate!
• Ahaha! Noo! Maybe I can escape your tickles if I use my cloaking device? Frak, I think I left it at home!

Upgrade to Lover

1. I love you more than I love cheddar. More than I love mozzarella. Even more than I love parmesan!
2. You haven't quuuiiite surpassed havarti yet, but you're getting there. Another kiss or two should do it. Pucker up!

You and Brie are in love. Talk about an interplanetary romance!

Lover

• Klaatu barada nikto. These are the words of peace, love, and trust... More or less.
• Star light... Star bright... First star I see tonight... Oh, I don't need to make a wish. You already came true.
• My skin misses yours. I want to feel closer. Let's twine our tails together, and- Oh. Earthlings don't have tails. I guess we can just hold hands!
• Ooo! Walk past me again. It makes my mousey senses tingle.
• There seems to be a strange gravitational pull... Between your lips and mine! They're on a collision course! Ohhh nnnoooooo...!
• Guess what? I made us a cheese plate! And I only ate like 42% of it before I remembered I was supposed to share! Now don't blink, or the rest might disappear too.
• (Naked) My asteroids have their own magnetic field. Can you feel them pulling you into orbit?
• (Naked) Hmm. My anatomy appears similar to that of an Earthling woman, but I think you should perform a more thorough sensory analysis to confirm. Touch me. Taste me. Echolocate me. Don't hold back.
• (Naked) Ohh noo, somebody used a disintegration laser on my clothes! How ever am I going to keep warm in the vast, cold void of space? If only there was a galactic hero who could save me! (Pssst... That's your cue!)

Seduce

• Your eyes are as warm and bright as the twin suns on my planet. In fact... When I look at you, I don't feel homesick anymore.
• I love you to the moon and back. Not Earth's moon, that's way too close. I'm talking about the one that's waayyyy on the other side of the Andromeda Galaxy.
• Come travel with me! We'll explore strange new worlds, seek out new cheeses and cheese-based dishes, and boldly taste what no one has tasted before!
• Eeee! I'm so happy, I feel like my heart might burst from my chest! Like, really explode through my ribs in a bloody and violent display of cosmic horror! Wouldn't that be a declaration of love to remember?
• Look what I found in my shoe! It's a pebble from the moon! I'm going to keep it forever, because it reminds me of when we met. Aww.
• You're amazing. You make me feel starstruck. Which is saying something, because I was actually struck by a star on my way to Earth. Hit and run. The insurance paperwork is going to be a nightmare.
• No power in the 'verse could stop me from being totally in love with you.
• No matter how you slice it, we're grate together.
• Sometimes, when I look at the stars, it's almost hard to believe I was ever all the way up there. Honestly... I like it better down here next to you.
• When you're not around, my heart feels full of holes. Like Swiss cheese, if Swiss cheese were lonely and sad and honestly a little grumpy.
• Love comes in many forms. Sliced, grated, melted...
• I was a little worried that your Earth-germs would make me sick. I've heard stories, y'know? But so far, I feel great! Maybe the power of love is protecting me?
• My spacesuit is made of a very special "girlfriend" material. Heehee... I hope that sounded as cheesy as it did in my head.
• I love you, and I hope hostile aliens never invade your planet. But if they do, remember these words: Never give up. Never surrender!
• Can I ask you something? It's about that Quill girl... Are you sure she's not a Flerken?
• There's a lot of advanced tech I could introduce to Earth, you know... But should I? No, that would be interfering... But maybe that's a good thing? Oh, I don't know... Morality was never my strong suit. I just like eating cheese and going "pew pew" with my raygun.
• They say it's about the journey, not the destination... But if I'd known my destination was you, I would've journeyed through space a lot fraking faster.
• What are the chances that, out of all the planets in the entire universe, you and I would end up here on Earth together? I could do the math to figure it out, but I don't really want to, so I'll just count my lucky stars.
• You give Earth a good name.
• RED ALERT! I THINK I LOCKED MY KEYS IN THE SPACESHIP! Oh... False alarm. They were in my pocket.
• Do you know how cute you are? Cuter than a Keplerian Glorpnit that hasn't lost its baby teeth yet! Oh, trust me, it's a compliment.
• We've been pretty busy the whole time I've been on Earth. Why don't we have a lazy day? We can nap together, play board games, eat cheesecake, make out...
• Hmm. I hope we don't have wildly different lifespans...
• According to my calculations, we've only taste-tested a small fraction of the cheeses available on Earth. Come on, my love, we're better than this! To the cheese factory... And beyond!
• You are the best companion. I wouldn't want to have adventures with anyone else.
• I had a dream that my matter replicator malfunctioned and made a hundred copies of you. It. Was. AWESOME.
• I'm trying to compose a video-letter to transmit home, but I'm not sure how to explain... Well, you! You're too wonderful for Rodentian words, so... Do you wanna make a guest appearance?
• You work too hard. Let's take a little vacation, just for the weekend. I hear Jupiter has beautiful beaches... And a TON of moons. Maybe one of those is made of cheese!?
• (Naked) In case you're wondering why I'm naked... It's because I aim to "misbehave."
• (Naked) There's a move I wanna try where I sit on your face and wrap my legs around your neck. It's called the facehugger.
• (Naked) I want you to probe me. Or should I probe you first, to show you how it's done? Let's just wing it and see what happens. For science!
• (Naked) I have an assortment of probes in my spaceship. Would you like to see them? Maybe take one for a test drive?
• (Naked) Wanna try on my spacesuit? I bet it would look super cute on you, and I'm not even using it right now!
• (Naked) I can't stop thinking about dipping you in cheese sauce and licking every inch of you clean. Twice.
• (Naked) Listen. You haven't experienced pleasure until you've experienced it in zero gravity. Come aboard my spaceship, and I'll show you exactly what you've been missing.
• (Naked) I'm so glad our physiologies are compatible. If you really think about it, that's a huge stroke of cosmic luck.
• (Naked) Ooo... Just call me E.T. the Extra Turned-On...
• (Naked) Good news. I just downloaded the schematics for an Orgasmo-Gadget 3000. My synthetron is working on it now, which means by tonight, we'll be screaming so loud they might even hear us in space.
• (Naked) Meteor shower sex is the best. A little dangerous, but super hot.

Gift

• Are you out of your vole-kin mind!? This must have cost a bajillion of your Earth dollars! I've never felt so... So loved! Eeee!
• You shouldn't havarti! This is too gouda! Oh, I'm so overcome with joy I'm getting my words marbled up.
• This truly eclipses anything that came before. I fraking adore it!
• I love this! I'm over the moon about it!
• [School Uniform] When I was in school, I had to fly through ten miles of asteroid storms to get there. Uphill, both ways!
• [Bathing Suit] Ooo, a swimming costume! Where I come from, it's not safe in the water - too many giant mouse-eating catfish. I'm stoked to give it a try!
• [Diamond Ring] *Gasp* Did you go ring shopping on Saturn!? This is amazing!
• [Holiday Outfit] Someone told me an old, bearded Earthling man would fill my socks with cheese. Is this true!? As much as I love cheese, I'm not sure I want it squishing between my toes.
• [Lingerie] I feel powerful in this. Like a Supreme Being capable of defeating the most malevolent of cosmic entities! Though I'd rather be a lover than a fighter. Teehee.
• [Birthday Suit] Your clothes. Give them to me. Now. I'm not going to wear them, I just want us both to be naked!
• [Animated Pose] Do you know how the solar system keeps its pants up? By wearing an asteroid belt!

Poke

• Ahaha! Noo! Maybe I can escape your tickles if I use my cloaking device? Frak, I think I left it at home!
• Aahaha! I've never laughed so much in all my life! Eeee staahhp! You're going to make me squeEAK!
• The trouble with tickles is.... I can't stop laughing! Eeeeheehee!
• Ooo! Teehee... You're making me blush! I might have to start tickling you back. With my tail. It's got a low-level electric current, so your face is definitely gonna turn red! Heehee!
• (Naked) Mmm... When you touch me like that, I feel weightless. It's just like being in outer space.
• (Naked) Oooo! That sends electric shivers down my spine, all the way out to the tip of my tail! Do it some more!
• (Naked) SQUEAK! Oh, that felt amazing. Like a phaser beam of pleasure!
• (Naked) Heeheehee! My body reacts in such strange ways when you do that! I want to laugh... But I also want to pull you close and kiss you!

Sex Scene

1. Brie gazes meaningfully into your eyes. "Show me how Earthlings express love... Physically." You start by kissing and stroking her. You lead her to the bed. She touches herself as you kiss her whole body, and soon the two of you are entwined, lost in mounting pleasure.
2. Afterwards, she smiles at you. "That was astronomical. But now, I'm going to show you how Rodentians do it..." She leaps on top of you, her tail twining around your leg. You're not sure what to expect, but you know it's going to be amazing.

Dates

• [Moonlight Stroll] Your night sky is so different from the one I know. So many strange constellations. My favorite is the one that looks like a big pot of cheese soup.
• [Movie Theater] You said there was a star in this film, but all I saw were Earthlings on the screen! I did enjoy the snacks though. That cheese powder you sprinkled on the popped corn was my favorite.
• [Sightseeing] Earth has so many wonderful sights to see! Next, can we go visit those sandy quadrahedrons? My ancestors built them, so it would mean the world to me!
• [Beach] Did you hear the dolphins singing in ultrasound!? "So long, and thanks for all the fish…!" It was adorable!
• [Beach] That was exhilarating! The sun burned my skin, rock particulates got everywhere, and I was pinched by a crustacean... Yet I've never had so much fun! Can we go again tomorrow?
• [Beach] Earth's water is so fascinating! Next time, remind me to bring my spacesuit, which doubles as a diving suit. We'll have our next adventure 50,000 leagues under the sea!

Dialogue about Ayeka

• That girl who smells like moldy cheese offered to take me somewhere called "Area 51." Is that a mall or a restaurant or something? Either way, it's so nice that she wants to hang out with me!
• Don't panic... There may be an imposter among us.
• That girl was badmouthing me behind my back. I guess she didn't notice my superior Rodentian ears. Or my plasma cannon.
• Have you ever met a stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nurf herder? Because I think I just saw one.
• Eeeek! I found a mouse trap in my bed! Who would do such an awful thing?
• Ugh, that girl is always sticking her nose in my business. Someone needs to teach her to mind her own cheesewax!

Requirement Table

Relationship Level	Requirements				Completion Reward
	Affection	Requirement 2	Requirement 3	Requirement 4
Adversary	200,000	1,980 Camembert	Hacker (Lvl 4 - Computers)	Lvl 15 TechSavvy	0.40×
Nuisance	2,400,000	1,969 Smoked Gouda	2 Plushy Toy	Lvl 22 Smart	0.60×
Frenemy	43,200,000	29,530 Frosted Swiss	Singularity (Lvl 10 - Computers)	Lvl 30 Lucky	0.80×
Acquaintance	1,080,000,000	384,400 Vegan Parmesan	Work at Space	Lvl 42 Badass	1.00×
Friendzoned	37,800,000,000	10,921 Moon Cheese	25 New Car	25 Moonlight Stroll	1.20×
Awkward Besties	2.079 × 1012 (2.079 Trillion)	2 Swiss Cheese	Lvl 60 Lucky	37 Beach	1.40×
Crush	155.925 × 1012 (155.925 Trillion)	15 Edam	Lvl 65 Smart	65 Sightseeing	1.60×
Sweetheart	14.03325 × 1015 (~14.03 Quadrillion)	42 Frankencheese	Lvl 70 Badass	98 Movie Theater	1.80×
Girlfriend	1.2629925 × 1018 (~1.26 Quintillion)	842 Clown Cheese	Lvl 73 TechSavvy	Lvl 72 Smart	2.00×
Lover	You did it!

Adversary	Req.s	200,000 Affection
		1,980 Camembert
		Hacker (Lvl 4 - Computers)
		Lvl 15 TechSavvy
	Reward	0.40×
Nuisance	Req.s	2,400,000 Affection
		1,969 Smoked Gouda
		2 Plushy Toy
		Lvl 22 Smart
	Reward	0.60×
Frenemy	Req.s	43,200,000 Affection
		29,530 Frosted Swiss
		Singularity (Lvl 10 - Computers)
		Lvl 30 Lucky
	Reward	0.80×
Acquaintance	Req.s	1,080,000,000 Affection
		384,400 Vegan Parmesan
		Work at Space
		Lvl 42 Badass
	Reward	1.00×
Friendzoned	Req.s	37,800,000,000 Affection
		10,921 Moon Cheese
		25 New Car
		25 Moonlight Stroll
	Reward	1.20×
Awkward Besties	Req.s	2.079 × 1012 (2.079 Trillion) Affection
		2 Swiss Cheese
		Lvl 60 Lucky
		37 Beach
	Reward	1.40×
Crush	Req.s	155.925 × 1012 (155.925 Trillion) Affection
		15 Edam
		Lvl 65 Smart
		65 Sightseeing
	Reward	1.60×
Sweetheart	Req.s	14.03325 × 1015 (~14.03 Quadrillion) Affection
		42 Frankencheese
		Lvl 70 Badass
		98 Movie Theater
	Reward	1.80×
Girlfriend	Req.s	1.2629925 × 1018 (~1.26 Quintillion) Affection
		842 Clown Cheese
		Lvl 73 TechSavvy
		Lvl 72 Smart
	Reward	2.00×
Lover	You did it!

Trivia

• Brie's dialogue about Ayeka being an "Imposter" is a reference to the game Among Us, in which the Imposter is a murderer, much like Ayeka.
• Brie's quote "I used to work as a mechanic for a small battalion of do-gooders devoted to helping those in trouble. Would you like to see our news clippings?" is a reference to the 1989 TV Series Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers.
• Brie's quote "...Spicy hot sauce. Where I come from, "spice" is the rarest commodity there is, yet you Earthlings seem to put that shazbot on EVERYTHING." is a reference to the slogan of Frank's RedHot.
• Brie mentions that her actual name is only pronounceable in an "obscure Betelgeusian dialect". 'Betelgeusian' is a reference to Betelgeuse, a red supergiant star. Betelgeuse is usually the 10th brightest star in the sky and the second brightest star in the Orion constellation.
  • This could also imply that Rodentia, her home planet, is in that star's system.
• Brie's blood type, listed as Rh-, is only part of a human blood type, meaning Brie's blood does not have the Rh protein, but says nothing of the actual blood cells she has.
• Many of the gifts for Brie are replaced with cheeses of various types.
  • Rose is replaced with Camembert, Donut with Smoked Gouda, Fruit Basket with Frosted Swiss, Chocolates with Vegan Parmesan, Tea Set with Moon Cheese, Magic Candles with Swiss Cheese, Enchanted Scarf with Edam, Bewitched Jam with Frankencheese, and Mystic Slippers with Clown Cheese.
    • The presence of Moon Cheese in this list is rather ironic, since Brie came to Earth's moon after hearing it was made of cheese only to discover it wasn't.
• Brie states that she is looking for cheese to take home due to a shortage. The people of Rodentia have plenty of food, they just discovered burgers and now don't have the cows to make cheese.
• Brie has fifty-six siblings.
• Brie states that the gravity on Rodentia is stronger than Earth.
• She says that the people of Rodentia use ultrasound to serenade each other with love songs at a frequency which humans can't hear. She would do it for you, but is too shy to at a volume other earthlings could hear.
• Her zodiac sign is Aries.
• Brie's Bathing Suit is a reference from the popular Gris Swimsuit meme.

Gallery

• 
  "Whoops! Haha! I floated into the shot by accident."
• 
  "Security cams caught this just before the cryo-pod released me."
• 
  "And on that note... I found out what was making all that noise in the vents!"
• 
  "I've got more than a couple of bumps and bruises after that fiasco."
• 
  "I wanted to share this with you. As a thank you."
• 
  "I'm heeeeere!"

• 
  Encounter
• 
  CRUSHED!
• 
  Encounter
• 
  Friendzoned
• 
  Sweetheart
• 
  Lover
• 
  Moonlight Stroll Date
• 
  Beach Date
• 
  Sightseeing Date
• 
  Movie Theater Date

Dates (Outer Space Event)

• 
  Outer Space Moonlight Stroll Date
• 
  Outer Space Beach Date
• 
  Outer Space Sightseeing Date
• 
  Outer Space Movie Date

• 
  Encounter
• 
  Mad
• 
  Harassed
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Mobile

• 
  Encounter
• 
  Mad
• 
  Harassed
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Holiday Outfit

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

School Uniform

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Bathing Suit

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Diamond Ring

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Sprites - DX Wedding Dress

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Holiday Outfit

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

School Uniform

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Bathing Suit

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Diamond Ring

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Deluxe Wedding Dress

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

• 
  Moonlight Stroll
• 
  Beach
• 
  Sightseeing
• 
  Movie Theater

• 
  Brie Animated Gif