Miss Desirée

Miss Desirée is a Phone Fling girl in Crush Crush, unlocked after Peanut sends you her third photo. She is the Senior Department Head at S.T.F. University. She contacts you about Peanut, who used you as a personal reference.

She later became a fully dateable girl, obtainable via her Limited Time Event, or by buying her bundle in the Store. She is the fifty-ninth (59th) addition to the main list.

Personality

Miss Desirée is highly intelligent, well-educated, and mature - but she’s not some fuddy-duddy, oh no. Underneath all that surface-level sophistication is a passionate woman whose favorite pastime is being as flirtatious and provocative as possible, especially when someone (like you) really catches her eye.

With a surprising forwardness and an occasional flair for the dramatic, this teacher is sure to keep you on your toes!

Messages

SFW version

Progress	SFW chat
1/23	Greetings and salutations.
2/23	My name is Miss Desirée, and I'm the Senior Department Head at S.T.F. University.
3/23	I'm contacting you in regards to a Miss Peanut Valentine.
4/23	She's a candidate for our honors program, and she gave us your contact as a personal reference.
5/23	I'm going to be frank with you - Miss Valentine seemed to panic when I asked her for this reference.
6/23	She blurted out your name in awkward fashion, after a great deal of squeaking and sweating.
7/23	Do you indeed know Miss Valentine? And may I ask you a few questions regarding her?
8/23	I will understand if you decline. If you actually exist then that will be a great start.
(A)	Yeah sure! Peanut and I go way back. At least a couple of resets, I think.
(B)	Hells yes. Peanut is best girl. Let's do this.
9/23	I'm not sure what you mean by "resets", but I'll assume it's a colloquialism denoting a length of time.	... Well I'm certainly encouraged by your enthusiasm.
10/23	In any case, I appreciate your time. If you have no objections, I'll begin the interview presently.
11/23	Question 1: Would you describe Miss Valentine as an honest person? Would you say she is prone to exaggeration or equivocation?
(A)	I feel as though Peanut may be incapable of lying. Like - physically incapable.
(B)	I guess you could say that Peanut has always been nakedly honest with me.
12/23	Yes. Quite. That does sound a great deal like Miss Valentine.	I enjoy your choice of words here, and will note it in the official summary.
13/23	Would you describe your relationship with Miss Valentine as personal, professional, or other?
(A)	Personal. Like - "don't scroll through the chat history" kind of personal
(B)	I can't remember if I've used any diamonds on Peanut, so put our relationship down as "other".
14/23	...
15/23	I will confess that made me laugh. But I'm going to keep it off the official summary.	I'm going to assume that "diamonds" isn't a euphemism for anything illegal, and continue.
16/23	One last question for this first batch.
17/23	Do you think that Peanut has the personal qualities of an honors student? Do you think she will excel in her goals?
(A)	For everything I've seen of Peanut - she's extraordinary.
(B)	Peanut is a 10. Or as I like to say - Peanut is Baenut.
18/23	That's a very glowing assessment. Thank you for sharing it.	I'll put down that you recommend her highly. But that was a cute description.
Pause	5 minute pause
19/23	Alright, this concludes the first set of questions. Do you have any questions for me, at this stage?
(A)	Yes. Would you mind sending me a pic? I'd REALLY like to make sure this is legit.
(B)	Yes. Would you say that you're more of an autumn or a winter?
20/23	Oh yes, of course! My apologies. We've just started allowing interviews to be done via text, and I forgot to confirm my identity with you.	Hahaha! Well, that's certainly a new one, for me. I've interviewed a thousand people for this program, and have never been asked that. Well done.
21/23	Hold on a moment. I'll send you a picture from my personal phone.	Hold on. I'll send you "research materials" and you can tell me.
Pause	6 hours pause
22/23	Here you are. Miss Desirée of S.T.F. University. Peanut can confirm my identity.	Here, as promised. So - you tell me. Winter or Summer? Autumn or winter?
23/23	[Miss Desirée photo 1]
(A)	Sweet Tetrasulfur tetranitride! You have a PHD?? But you're... Umm...
(B)	Damn girl. You must be summer, because you're hotter than climate change.
1/26	So young looking? Well, it's true. I'm 28. I was one of those egghead gals that graduated highschool at 13.	Good gracious. That was the most pathetic attempt at a science joke I've ever heard...
2/26	If, on the other hand, it was my ample breasts that threw you off, let me put you at ease. They're fake. I got them for myself. We have fun together.	And Feynman help me... I laughed at it.
3/26	*Ahem* Well, please excuse that short lapse in professionalism. I have done over a hundred interviews this week alone, and my brain is in open revolt.
4/26	I've been pretending this whole time that you're some sort of shirtless mermaid person with a ripped body. It's made things more bearable.
5/26	I hope you don't mind.
(A)	Hey, I'm a little bored myself. Maybe we can help each other...
(B)	We COULD make this interview a LOT more interesting...
6/26	Hahaha! Well this sounds like grounds for being reprimanded, but why not. Let's live dangerously.	Hmm... Alright. I'm game. Anything to give my brain a little R&R.
7/26	How about we make our interview a little more mutual? I've heard some stories about you from Peanut, and I would be pleased to learn more.
8/26	In exchange, you can ask me anything.
9/26	I am not shy. So jump in.
10/26	First, give me a little while to think of a few new questions. I'll get back to you soon.
Pause	1 hour pause
11/26	Alright, I'm ready. Let's begin the next phase of the interview.
12/26	At this particular time, have you had intimate relations with Miss Peanut Valentine?
(A)	Well, no. But I sure do think it would be a good idea.
(B)	Oh yeah. Peanut and I have gotten a bit "nuts", if you know what I mean.
13/26	I see. That's too bad.	What an unusual time for innuendo.
14/26	I've been encouraging Peanut to let her hair down a little and have fun. She's very studious. Hopefully things work out.	But I'm happy to hear it. I've been encouraging Peanut to let her hair down a little and have fun. I'm glad to hear she's been doing just that.
15/26	Your turn.
(A)	What's the wildest thing you've ever done in the classroom?
(B)	Tell me a weird (but sexy) science fact.
16/26	Well... Once or twice, a final exam posed a great opportunity to engage in a little public self-stimulation.	The atoms in your genitalia, and the atoms in your tongue, were likely formed in different stars.
17/26	I would like to reassert that this conversation is confidential.
18/26	Alright, my turn.
19/26	Who would you say has been your most unusual sexual partner to date?
(A)	Either the songaloid, the evil trickster, or... maybe the ghost?
(B)	The bear. 100%.
20/26	Oh my goodness, my last roommate turned out to be a ghost.	WOW.
21/26	She and I had several "risqué" encounters involving a camera and... Well, I've said too much.	Well, now my mind is racing. Likely from some sort of fight or flight response. Let's move on.
22/26	This is fun, by the way. I'm enjoying this.
23/26	It's pretty much the most absurd thing ever. But why not invite a little more absurdity into our lives, right?
Pause	5 minutes pause
24/26	Your turn for a question.
(A)	Do you have any unrequited... fantasies?
(B)	What's the most reckless thing you've done today?
Pause	12 hours pause
25/26	Well, now that you mention it...	Hold on. I've got a good answer for this...
26/26	[Miss Desirée photo 2]
1/26	Sending an unsolicited picture of a sexual nature probably fits that description.
2/26	Hahaha!
3/26	No, but seriously, don't show that to anyone.
4/26	I will get fired.
5/26	And I like my job.
(A)	That was VERY unexpected. And thank you.
(B)	Why Miss Desirée. I think you may be trying to seduce me.
6/26	Life should be filled with the unexpected.	Hahaha! No no, not at all. Well, maybe just a little...
7/26	Except in science experiments. Which usually means a lack of proper controls.	I mean - what's a few risqué pictures between friends?
Pause	12 hours pause
8/26	Well, I must admit, I'm sitting here at my desk blushing like one of my students with a silly crush.
9/26	I actually used to do lots of ridiculous stuff like this. But it's been a while.
10/26	I do my best to always be the "fun" teacher, but I suppose I've been acting more like an adult these days.
11/26	I'm sorry. These probably sound like the ravings of a professor gone mad.
(A)	You're just overthinking it. Just have fun. Do your best. Maximum effort.
(B)	I've talk to two gals from S.T.F. University. You've both been awesome but a little... pent up.
12/26	Hahaha! I suppose you're right. Overthinking and I have a long and storied relationship.	Hahaha! Well, perhaps you should consider a career as a counselor up here at the university. Sounds like the whole school could use your expertise.
13/26	Well, I should get going.
14/26	I have a class to teach soon.
15/26	But it's been a wonderful distraction speaking with you.
16/26	When Peanut blurted out your name in comedic fashion, I couldn't have predicted this conversation
17/26	I would love to chat again in the future, if that's alright?
(A)	Of course, Miss Desirée. I'm always at your disposal.
(B)	I've got a serious thing for teachers, Miss Desirée. Don't be a stranger.
18/26	Ditto.	As always, your honesty is galling and refreshing.
19/26	Alright, my class is about to start. But you've inspired me to try something new.
20/26	I'll send you a little surprise when I get the chance...
21/26	..to show you my appreciation for making my day so interesting.
22/26	Hang tight
Pause	12 hours pause
23/26	Alright, here you are.
24/26	A little souvenir I took during my last lecture. Taken at great peril.
25/26	It was fun, but I might have been a bit... distracted. I started teaching the wrong course.
26/26	[Miss Desirée photo 3]
1/∞	In any case - thanks again for the distraction.
2/∞	<3

Moist version

The NSFW conversation diverges from the SFW conversation at your response before Miss Desirée sends her 2nd photo (24/26).

Progress	Moist and Uncensored chat
1/23	Greetings and salutations.
2/23	My name is Miss Desirée, and I'm the Senior Department Head at S.T.F. University.
3/23	I'm contacting you in regards to a Miss Peanut Valentine.
4/23	She's a candidate for our honors program, and she gave us your contact as a personal reference.
5/23	I'm going to be frank with you - Miss Valentine seemed to panic when I asked her for this reference.
6/23	She blurted out your name in awkward fashion, after a great deal of squeaking and sweating.
7/23	Do you indeed know Miss Valentine? And may I ask you a few questions regarding her?
8/23	I will understand if you decline. If you actually exist then that will be a great start.
(A)	Yeah sure! Peanut and I go way back. At least a couple of resets, I think.
(B)	Hells yes. Peanut is best girl. Let's do this.
9/23	I'm not sure what you mean by "resets", but I'll assume it's a colloquialism denoting a length of time.	... Well I'm certainly encouraged by your enthusiasm.
10/23	In any case, I appreciate your time. If you have no objections, I'll begin the interview presently.
11/23	Question 1: Would you describe Miss Valentine as an honest person? Would you say she is prone to exaggeration or equivocation?
(A)	I feel as though Peanut may be incapable of lying. Like - physically incapable.
(B)	I guess you could say that Peanut has always been nakedly honest with me.
12/23	Yes. Quite. That does sound a great deal like Miss Valentine.	I enjoy your choice of words here, and will note it in the official summary.
13/23	Would you describe your relationship with Miss Valentine as personal, professional, or other?
(A)	Personal. Like - "don't scroll through the chat history" kind of personal
(B)	I can't remember if I've used any diamonds on Peanut, so put our relationship down as "other".
14/23	...
15/23	I will confess that made me laugh. But I'm going to keep it off the official summary.	I'm going to assume that "diamonds" isn't a euphemism for anything illegal, and continue.
16/23	One last question for this first batch.
17/23	Do you think that Peanut has the personal qualities of an honors student? Do you think she will excel in her goals?
(A)	For everything I've seen of Peanut - she's extraordinary.
(B)	Peanut is a 10. Or as I like to say - Peanut is Baenut.
18/23	That's a very glowing assessment. Thank you for sharing it.	I'll put down that you recommend her highly. But that was a cute description.
Pause	5 minutes pause
19/23	Alright, this concludes the first set of questions. Do you have any questions for me, at this stage?
(A)	Yes. Would you mind sending me a pic? I'd REALLY like to make sure this is legit.
(B)	Yes. Would you say that you're more of an autumn or a winter?
20/23	Oh yes, of course! My apologies. We've just started allowing interviews to be done via text, and I forgot to confirm my identity with you.	Hahaha! Well, that's certainly a new one, for me. I've interviewed a thousand people for this program, and have never been asked that. Well done.
21/23	Hold on a moment. I'll send you a picture from my personal phone.	Hold on. I'll send you "research materials" and you can tell me.
Pause	6 hours pause
22/23	Here you are. Miss Desirée of S.T.F. University. Peanut can confirm my identity.	Here, as promised. So - you tell me. Winter or Summer? Autumn or winter?
23/23	[Miss Desirée photo 1]
(A)	Sweet Tetrasulfur tetranitride! You have a PHD?? But you're... Umm...
(B)	Damn girl. You must be summer, because you're hotter than climate change.
1/26	So young looking? Well, it's true. I'm 28. I was one of those egghead gals that graduated highschool at 13.	Good gracious. That was the most pathetic attempt at a science joke I've ever heard...
2/26	If, on the other hand, it was my ample breasts that threw you off, let me put you at ease. They're fake. I got them for myself. We have fun together.	And Feynman help me... I laughed at it.
3/26	*Ahem* Well, please excuse that short lapse in professionalism. I have done over a hundred interviews this week alone, and my brain is in open revolt.
4/26	I've been pretending this whole time that you're some sort of shirtless mermaid person with a ripped body. It's made things more bearable.
5/26	I hope you don't mind.
(A)	Hey, I'm a little bored myself. Maybe we can help each other...
(B)	We COULD make this interview a LOT more interesting...
6/26	Hahaha! Well this sounds like grounds for being reprimanded, but why not. Let's live dangerously.	Hmm... Alright. I'm game. Anything to give my brain a little R&R.
7/26	How about we make our interview a little more mutual? I've heard some stories about you from Peanut, and I would be pleased to learn more.
8/26	In exchange, you can ask me anything.
9/26	I am not shy. So jump in.
10/26	First, give me a little while to think of a few new questions. I'll get back to you soon.
Pause	1 hour pause
11/26	Alright, I'm ready. Let's begin the next phase of the interview.
12/26	At this particular time, have you had intimate relations with Miss Peanut Valentine?
(A)	Well, no. But I sure do think it would be a good idea.
(B)	Oh yeah. Peanut and I have gotten a bit "nuts", if you know what I mean.
13/26	I see. That's too bad.	What an unusual time for innuendo.
14/26	I've been encouraging Peanut to let her hair down a little and have fun. She's very studious. Hopefully things work out.	But I'm happy to hear it. I've been encouraging Peanut to let her hair down a little and have fun. I'm glad to hear she's been doing just that.
15/26	Your turn.
(A)	What's the wildest thing you've ever done in the classroom?
(B)	Tell me a weird (but sexy) science fact.
16/26	Well... Once or twice, a final exam posed a great opportunity to engage in a little public self-stimulation.	The atoms in your genitalia, and the atoms in your tongue, were likely formed in different stars.
17/26	I would like to reassert that this conversation is confidential.
18/26	Alright, my turn.
19/26	Who would you say has been your most unusual sexual partner to date?
(A)	Either the songaloid, the evil trickster, or... maybe the ghost?
(B)	The bear. 100%.
20/26	Oh my goodness, my last roommate turned out to be a ghost.	WOW.
21/26	She and I had several "risqué" encounters involving a camera and... Well, I've said too much.	Well, now my mind is racing. Likely from some sort of fight or flight response. Let's move on.
22/26	This is fun, by the way. I'm enjoying this.
23/26	It's pretty much the most absurd thing ever. But why not invite a little more absurdity into our lives, right?
Pause	5 minutes pause
24/26	Your turn for a question.
(A)	What's the most inappropriate pic you can send me right now?
(B)	I want to see your tits. That's totally a question.
Pause	12 hours pause
25/26	Nothing too interesting. Give me a moment to fix that.	I appreciate the direct approach. But I don't reward stupidity. So I'm going to get you off with a warning.
26/26	[NSFW photo]
1/26	That's all you get for now. Disrobing in a busy university is hazardous to one's future employment prospects.
2/26	Hahaha!
3/26	No, but seriously, don't show that to anyone.
4/26	I will get fired.
5/26	And I like my job.
(A)	I didn't actually think that "hot teachers" actually existed. You're making wishes come true.
(B)	This picture will serve me well... Later...
6/26	My lifelong dream as an educator.	You're crude. But I enjoy the thought. And that, in turn, will serve ME well later.
7/26	Or rather - my lifelong dream as an educator with incredible breasts.	You see? Anyone can be classy AND crude, with a little effort.
Pause	12 hours pause
8/26	Well, I must admit, I'm sitting here at my blushing. Both upstairs and down.
9/26	I actually used to do lots of ridiculous stuff like this. But it's been a while.
10/26	I do my best to always be the "fun" teacher, but I suppose I've been acting more like an adult these days.
11/26	I'm sorry. These probably sound like the ravings of a professor gone mad.
(A)	"Professor gone mad" is EXACTLY the fantasy I was thinking of...
(B)	They say not to 'stick' anything in crazy. So I must insist on external stimulation.
12/26	Well, see me during office hours sometime. I'll bring my lab coat and safety glasses.	I'm not sure how, but you are both incredibly cringey and oddly endearing. I'm curious just how often that strategy works for you.
13/26	Well, I should get going.
14/26	I have a class to teach soon.
15/26	But it's been a wonderful distraction touching myself while speaking with you.
16/26	When Peanut blurted out your name in comedic fashion, I couldn't have predicted this conversation
17/26	I would love to chat again in the future, if that's alright?
(A)	I almost typed "Fuck Yeah!" Oh wait, I still kind of did.
(B)	Chat. Bang. Scrabble. Whatever you're feeling, I find appealing.
18/26	Hahaha! Gosh, that's so lame and excellent.	You've definitely got a thing for four letter words. I can imagine you're quite good at Scrabble.
19/26	Alright, my class is about to start. But you've inspired me to try something new.
20/26	I'll send you a little surprise when I get the chance...
21/26	..to show you my appreciation for making my day so interesting.
22/26	Hang tight
Pause	12 hours pause
23/26	Alright, here you are.
24/26	I set it to low, so the buzzing wouldn't tip off my students. But I imagine some of them were suspicious. No one is quite that enthusiastic about a physics lecture...
25/26	Actually, upon further inspection, I might have been more distracted than I realized. It appears I was teaching the wrong course...
26/26	[NSFW photo]
1/∞	In any case - thanks again for the distraction.
2/∞	<3

SFW version

Progress	SFW chat
1/15	Greetings and salutations.
2/15	I require cheering up. Preferably of a fun and flirty nature.
3/15	In light of our previous interaction, would you be amenable to helping me out?
(A)	You don't beat around the bush, do you Miss Desiree?
(B)	You mean you want to send me more flirty pics of yourself? I'm okay with that.
4/15	To do so would be rather pointless.	Excellent. I had hoped you would be.
5/15	On that note.
6/15	I would like you to tell me how beautiful and exciting I am, and in as verbose a manner as possible.
(A)	I'll try, but there is a limit to how many characters will fit into this little box.
(B)	Based on our previous interaction, you are one of the most beautiful and exciting women I've met.
7/15	I suppose that's fair.	Do you really think so?
8/15	Luckily, a picture says a thousand words...	In your own words...
9/15	Tell me how badly you want to see me again.
(A)	It's incomprehensible. Like string theory.
(B)	So badly I'm about to use some diamonds to get the pic faster.
10/15	Ha! I appreciate your effort to work in a physics reference.	Oh, please don't feel obligated to buy me jewelry.
11/15	But do you know what's truly incomprehensible?	Would you like to know what women really want?
Pause	30 minutes pause
12/15	Being unceremoniously sacked from a tenured position!	To be appreciated for the value they bring to an institution!
13/15	In any case, here I am.
14/15	Tell me I'm beautiful... But only if you really mean it.
15/15	[Miss Desirée photo 4]
(A)	Umm... Is everything okay?
(B)	You're definitely beautiful. However, I'm sensing there might be something else going on here.
1/71	Everything's peachy keen, jellybean!	Something else? I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.
2/71	Except for the fact that several hours of excessive weeping has apparently caused my makeup to run, and now I look like a sad, sad clown in my photo...	Unless you're referring to the fact that I am stuffing my face with wine-filled chocolates while guzzling chocolate-flavored wine, in which case... Yes! Correct!
3/71	Oh, I can't believe any of this.
4/71	Why did I think this would help?
5/71	The truth is that I've been...
6/71	Oh.
7/71	I can't even bring myself to type it.
8/71	Okay, here I go.
9/71	The truth is, my employment at S.T.F. University has been...
10/71	Terminated.
(A)	You know that one painting with the screaming dude? That's my face right now.
(B)	I hope it didn't have anything to do with unprofessional reference interviews...
11/71	I'm a physicist, not an art historian!	No, I've always received very high ratings when it comes to my interview skills.
12/71	Really, this is all Dean Hoff's fault.
13/71	That noxious, half-witted cockalorum of a man!
14/71	It wasn't me who brought up the subject of quantum entanglement!
15/71	Was I supposed to just allow him to continue spewing pseudoscientific quackery?
16/71	He had no idea what he was talking about!
17/71	Well, men like Dean Jack Hoff don't like to be challenged, do they?
18/71	And so he sacked me!
19/71	Right there in the middle of the cafeteria!
20/71	I'm completely humiliated.
(A)	I might know a reliable hitman or two...
(B)	I see why you needed cheering up.
21/71	Ha! Don't tempt me.	Yes... It has been a pretty bad day.
22/71	Oh, what am I going to do?
23/71	No school is ever going to look at me again!
24/71	Not after being sacked from S.T.F. University, of all places.
25/71	I'm ruined.
26/71	My work as a physicist and educator is over.
27/71	I can't imagine showing my face in any academic circles again!
28/71	I'm probably going to end up selling skincare products to my friends via social media.
29/71	Wahh! *ugly cries*
(A)	Take a deep breath. It's going to be okay.
(B)	No way! You're not going to let this ruin your life.
30/71	I just want to be happy again!	But how?
31/71	What am I supposed to do?
(A)	For starters, change out of your work clothes.
(B)	A little self-care goes a long way. What always makes you feel good?
32/71	...I suppose that's not a bad idea.	Well...
33/71	I could put on something nice, to make myself feel beautiful at least...	It might sound a little vain, but getting "dolled up" typically gives me a confidence boost...
34/71	Do you think that'll work?
(A)	It's a step in the right direction.
(B)	One way to find out!
35/71	Maybe you're right.	That's true.
36/71	Objects at rest tend to stay at rest. I should at least attempt forward motion.	I have always preferred experimental physics, as opposed to theoretical.
37/71	Very well, I'll give it a try.
38/71	Okay. I have now managed to push myself up off the floor.
39/71	I have removed my wrinkled workwear. Good riddance!
40/71	(Interesting - I already feel a little refreshed...)
41/71	Hmmm.
42/71	Now what shall I put on?
(A)	What's your favorite thing to wear?
(B)	You could just chill in your undies. I've always found that pretty comfy.
43/71	If I'm being honest, my favorite attire is something delicate and elegant...	That likely would be comfortable.
44/71	Like a beautiful negligee, or a satin robe...	However, I think I need to feel more than comfortable right now. I need to feel... Powerful.
45/71	Ah! I know just the thing.
46/71	Give me one moment to get dressed.
Pause	5 minutes pause
47/71	Mhmm.
48/71	I do feel much better in this.
49/71	I've also reapplied my makeup and fluffed up my hair.
(A)	Time for some selfies? I hear they can be quite empowering.
(B)	That'll definitely show that dumb dean who's who.
50/71	See? This is precisely why I chose to reach out to you.	Ugh. Let's not talk about Jack Hoff anymore.
51/71	You know how to get a girl excited about herself.	I'd much rather focus on... Me and you.
52/71	Oh - will you give me a moment?
53/71	There seems to be someone at my door.
Pause	15 minutes pause
54/71	This is unbelievable!
55/71	Do you know what that arrogant buffoon Dean Hoff's done now?
56/71	He's gifted me an expensive sports car!
(A)	What a random plot twist.
(B)	The audacity of some people!
57/71	Trust me, it isn't random at all.	Audacious doesn't begin to describe that incorrigible excuse for a human being!
58/71	He's had this car sent to my home as a means of discrediting me!
59/71	There's a letter, too - it says he hopes I will "do the right thing" and tell everyone I "resigned amicably" from the university!
(A)	Didn't he angrily fire you in public?
(B)	Reading between the lines, that sounds like a bribe...
60/71	Yes!!!	It most certainly is!!!
61/71	The man has mashed potatoes for brains!	What an utter crock of baloney!
62/71	He thinks he can pretend like he didn't sack me out of spite?
63/71	What about all those witnesses in the cafeteria?
64/71	How does he intend to keep them from telling the truth?
65/71	I've never been so angry in all my life!
66/71	I'll show him exactly what I think of him and his stupid gift!
67/71	Raaahhh!!!
(A)	Wait! Come back! I had all kinds of flirty texts lined up!
(B)	What are you gonna do?
Pause	4 hours pause
68/71	Oh...	Ahem...
69/71	Goodness me.
70/71	My emotions really did get the best of me just now, I'm afraid.
71/71	[Miss Desirée photo 5]
1/49	Do you think I reacted poorly?
(A)	Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. It also hath nothing more gorgeous than you.
(B)	That's a very nice car you're wrecking. But damn, you look good doing it.
2/49	Well aren't you a silver-tongued devil!	It's likely the adrenaline bringing a flush to my cheeks and a sparkle to my eye.
3/49	Actually, I sort of forgot I was only wearing lingerie.
4/49	That's it. To hell with the dean, the bribe, and the whole university!
5/49	I'm ready to be distracted.
6/49	So. I assume you like what you see?
(A)	I like it. I'm also a tiny bit afraid of it.
(B)	Very very very very very very much so.
7/49	Ahaha!	Mmmm.
8/49	Tell me more.
(A)	I'm more attracted to you than an electron to a proton.
(B)	Let's exchange fermions! (Idk what that means, it came up when I searched "physics pickup lines").
9/49	I haven't heard a line quite that cheesy since my undergrad years!	Ahahaha!
10/49	Interestingly enough, the nostalgia is working for me.	Oh, thank you for the genuine laugh.
11/49	Will you keep going?
(A)	Your beauty can't be defined. It's like dividing by zero.
(B)	Science rules! Inertia is a property of matter! Am I cute?
12/49	How romantic!	Heehee! This science-girl certainly finds you charming.
13/49	I can't believe it. I'm actually starting to perk up a bit.
14/49	I'm glad I decided to message you.
15/49	You seem to have an unnatural ability to say the right thing at any given moment. Almost as if you've been given a script!
(A)	Yeah, pretty much everyone I encounter finds me incredibly charming.
(B)	Maybe you and I just "click"?
16/49	Undoubtedly!	Yes, I do feel an incredibly strong attraction to you.
17/49	Against all odds, you've reinvigorated my spirit. Or, at the very least, my optimism.	It's a pleasant reminder that my life can still be fun, flirty, and wonderful.
18/49	Thank you. I'm starting to feel that things will be okay.
19/49	I will be okay.
(A)	Of course. I'm glad I was able to help cheer you up.
(B)	That's the spirit!
20/49	As am I.	Yes! Indeed!
21/49	I suppose I have a number of things to figure out now.
22/49	Like what to do with my life now that I'm no longer a professor at S.T.F. University.
23/49	Hold on... Do you think I have a shot at winning a wrongful termination lawsuit against Dean Hoff?
(A)	You should consult a lawyer. Let me think, do I know anyone...?
(B)	Keep me posted. I wanna know how it all turns out.
24/49	Excellent idea.	I certainly will.
25/49	Thank you for your help!
26/49	Now, if you'll excuse me while I go make some calls...
Pause	3 days pause
27/49	I'm back!
28/49	I apologize for taking so long. The past couple of days have been an absolute whirlwind.
29/49	Are you ready for a juicy update?
(A)	How juicy is it?
(B)	I was born ready.
30/49	I'll tell you what it is, and then you can let me know.	Well, then I'll jump right in.
31/49	So things took a little bit of a turn once I reached out to a lawyer.
32/49	I was lucky enough to find an extremely ambitious and... Somewhat unorthodox individual.
33/49	Confident in our wrongful termination suit, we served Dean Hoff with papers the very next day.
34/49	And not twenty minutes later...
35/49	He was arrested!
(A)	What!? That sounds like something out of a movie!
(B)	For being a nincompoop?
36/49	I told you it was juicy!	For being a crime boss!
37/49	I don't have all the details, but apparently, ALL of his credentials were fake.
38/49	I'm just going to say it - that explains a lot.
39/49	Also, he's got ties to all kinds of organized crime!
40/49	In any case, the university suddenly found itself dealing with quite a complicated scandal.
41/49	And so, in order to minimize the PR nightmare that was about to unfold, they offered me a humongous settlement - in record time!
(A)	How much we talking?
(B)	That's cray-cray!
42/49	I never have to work again!	I'm rich, Marshmallow! Ahaha!
43/49	Though the university did also offer me my job back.
44/49	(I told them I would think about it).
45/49	In the meantime, I'm enjoying a well-deserved break.
46/49	In fact, I'm celebrating with my girlfriends - Tequila and Chardonnay - this very moment.
47/49	Would you like to see?
(A)	I always want to see.
(B)	Your friends sound pretty glamorous.
48/49	Ta-da!	Oh, they're the life of any party.
49/49	[Miss Desirée photo 6]
1/∞	There you go. Welcome to my pool party.
(A)	You're glowing.
(B)	I wish I was there right now.
2/∞	It's all this sun I'm getting!	Ooo, wouldn't that be a treat.
3/∞	To be honest...
4/∞	I just keep thinking about how the only person I wanted to talk to in my darkest moment...
5/∞	Was you.
6/∞	Hopefully, someday, I'll be able to thank you properly for your help.
7/∞	Perhaps I could take you out to dinner? See where the evening takes us?
(A)	100%
(B)	I'm free right now...
8/∞	A+	Haha!
9/∞	I'll let you know as soon as I return to the "real world".
10/∞	You certainly deserve to be rewarded.
11/∞	And I'm looking forward to it. ;)
12/∞	In the meantime, I'll be daydreaming about you.
13/∞	Until next time <3

SFW version

Progress	SFW chat
1/∞	Greetings and salutations!
2/∞	I hope this missive finds you well.
(A)	Any missive from you automatically improves my day!
(B)	More importantly, how does it find YOU?
3/∞	You are incorrigible as ever! Never change!	Very well, thank you!
4/∞	I have been enjoying my unplanned but not unwelcome furlough from teaching.
5/∞	The generous terms of my settlement have furnished me with ample funds with which to enjoy my respite.
(A)	You deserve that and more!
(B)	That's a real fancy way of saying "cash money for the good booze".
6/∞	Considering what they put me through? I deserve much more! But I think it will better serve my mental peace to practice satisfaction with the outcome I received.	I have been told my loquaciousness and sizeable vocabulary is wasted on the Sciences.
7/∞	And anyway, after a certain point the exact number of zeroes tailing the end of one's bank balance becomes no more consequential than a high score in a video game.	But yes, I have been enjoying some top shelf cocktails by the pool.
8/∞	Having had time to decompress from past stressors and rejuvenate my body and mind...
9/∞	I am now concluding negotiations regarding S.T.F. University's offer to return to my previous position.
10/∞	Negotiations which included a substantial payraise, I might add.
11/∞	Not that I need one now, but it does serve as a reminder that I know my worth and won't be trifled with again.
(A)	Talk about a power move!
(B)	You GET that bag, Professor!
12/∞	I may be a professor, but that whole miserable experience certainly taught ME a few unpleasant lessons...	Timely automatic deposits will do for convenience's sake, I think.
13/∞	Which brings me to my point.
14/∞	You offered me emotional solace and moral support during my time of need.
15/∞	A kindness you did not owe me...
16/∞	Yet you offered nonetheless.
17/∞	And I won't soon forget it!
18/∞	I believe I had mentioned previously that I would like the opportunity to reward your loyalty and show my thanks.
19/∞	And before you get all chivalrous and tell me no thanks is necessary...
(A)	Haha, you got me there...
(B)	Yeah well I'd already started typing so I'm gonna say it anyway! No thanks needed, Miss Desirée!
20/∞	Yes, well, physics is a discipline built on a foundation of observation.	Noted.
Pause	2 minutes pause
21/∞	As I was saying...
22/∞	Before you tell me no thanks is necessary, I must admit to an ulterior motive in these little machinations of mine.
23/∞	You see, I had previously raised the possibility of a dinner date, but what if before the restaurant...
24/∞	I offered you a little amuse bouche in the form of an invitation to sit in on my first class back?
25/∞	Such an arrangement would not only serve as a part of your reward, but would also provide me with a continuing source of support during this time of transition.
26/∞	I know I have nothing to realistically be nervous about.
27/∞	I am a brilliant, well-liked professor and I have more than proved myself capable of the position I hold.
28/∞	But it would still lift my spirits to look out across my lecture hall and see your smiling face!
(A)	You don't have to ask me twice!
(B)	Advanced Physics? How could I possibly resist?
29/∞	No, but if you'd like me to, I will.	Careful! That's word for word what I said when I first chose my major, and look at me now!
30/∞	So is that a yes?
31/∞	You intend on coming?
(A)	Wouldn't miss it!
(B)	Oh hecks to the yeah!
32/∞	Good to hear.	Points for enthusiasm, if not for grammar.
33/∞	I'll have to put some extra care and attention into my appearance, then!
34/∞	Of course, I would have done my utmost to make a good returning impression anyway...
35/∞	But now I feel the need to double-check the durability of my lipstick.
36/∞	Just mind you don't show up to my class looking too sweet and squishable, my marshmallow!
37/∞	It wouldn't do for me to be making silly errors in my equations on my first day back!
38/∞	I do so look forward to seeing you.
39/∞	Counting down the seconds, really, but don't tell my tuition-paying students I said so or they might feel neglected!
40/∞	Ta-ta for now!

Dialogue List

First Meeting

1. You're sitting in the front row of Miss Desirée's Advanced Physics class when, partway through the lesson, you spot something glinting in the light.
2. Whatever it is, it's landed on Miss Desirée's perfect head. You raise your hand to let her know... Only for you both to realize what you saw was her first gray hair!
3. Self esteem—CRUSHED!
4. Mortified, Miss Desirée dismisses her students almost an hour early. You should probably stay after class and find some way to make her feel better...

Adversary

• Auughhhh! I'm like the crypt keeper!

Sorry

• Of course it's a law of the universe that all matter succumbs to entropy and decay over time, but why does it have to show on my face?
• What will become of my chili pepper rating on GradeMyProfessor dot com now?
• I'm not vain! It's the visual reminder of my mortality I take umbrage with.
• Why couldn't you have just raised your hand to ask a tedious question already answered in the course syllabus, like everyone else?

Gift

• This is going right where I put all my "World's Best Teacher" mugs... In a box labeled "Thrift Store Donations".

Poke

• If you want to get my attention I would much rather you raise your hand, or make an appointment to meet with me during my scheduled office hours.

Upgrade to Nuisance

1. I am too young to be going gray already! This is all down to that no-good sleazy clod "Dean" Hoff and the unnecessary stress he put me through!
2. Ipso facto... If stress is what's causing me to age prematurely, and my aging prematurely is causing me to feel more stressed... Oh no!

You unlocked Miss Desirée!

Nuisance

• Yes? What is it? Do you have a question? Preferably about the course material, this time?

Sorry

• Why couldn't you have just raised your hand to ask a tedious question already answered in the course syllabus, like everyone else?
• The old wives tale asserts that if I pluck this gray hair, then two more will sprout in its place. Luckily for me, old wives tales have no basis in actual science!
• Let's just stick to the course material until my ego has had time to recover.
• I can still be the young, fun professor, can't I? Gray hair is no impediment to me moving class outside, for example!
• Some days there simply just isn't enough coffee in the teacher's lounge...

Gift

• This is going right where I put all my "World's Best Teacher" mugs... In a box labeled "Thrift Store Donations".

Poke

• Excuse me! No horseplay in the lab!

Upgrade to Frenemy

1. I still have half a mind to keep you after class, you cheeky little confection!
2. You wouldn't consider that a punishment? We'll see about that!

Miss Desirée is your Frenemy.

Frenemy

• I can't believe your attention wandered like that during my very stimulating lecture! I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.

Sorry

• I can still be the young, fun professor, can't I? Gray hair is no impediment to me moving class outside, for example!
• Some days there simply just isn't enough coffee in the teacher's lounge...
• Maybe an early retirement with my stacks of settlement money isn't such a bad idea after all...
• You're very sweet, but I don't give out grades for effort.
• According to the principles of time dilation, if only I were moving at a sufficient speed, then my rate of aging, relatively speaking, would decrease. Of course, the velocity required to produce a noticeable effect is well beyond our current technology. Also, I might get motion sickness.
• That's QUARKS, not quacks! I teach physics, not while away my days by an idyllic little pond at the park. Although that does sound nice, now that I think of it...
• Albert Einstein's gray hair never seemed to negatively impact his viability as a romantic or sexual partner for his numerous and varied paramours.

Gift

• Oh. Is this the sort of thing one usually gifts to their young, sexy professors? Because I swear I've seen something like this in a retirement-aged colleague's office...

Poke

• Excuse me! No horseplay in the lab!

Upgrade to Acquaintance

1. *Sigh* Having taken the time to set my feelings aside and assess this situation more analytically, it seems unfair of me to hold you responsible for a natural process which you merely observed...
2. And further to that conclusion... So what? So what if I'm showing outward signs of aging? My sexual vibrancy is not limited by the melanin deposits in my hair, and as a scientist, I'll prove it!

Miss Desirée is your Acquaintance.

Acquaintance

• It's traditional to make an offering of an apple when greeting one's teacher, but in my case a coffee with a generous splash of Irish Cream wouldn't go amiss.

Talk

• According to the principles of time dilation, if only I were moving at a sufficient speed, then my rate of aging, relatively speaking, would decrease. Of course, the velocity required to produce a noticeable effect is well beyond our current technology. Also, I might get motion sickness.
• That's QUARKS, not quacks! I teach physics, not while away my days by an idyllic little pond at the park. Although that does sound nice, now that I think of it...
• Albert Einstein's gray hair never seemed to negatively impact his viability as a romantic or sexual partner for his numerous and varied paramours.
• Next will be frown lines, most likely, but I earned those by staring with my brow furrowed at complex mathematical equations. On me they'll have to start referring to them as 'genius lines'!
• Students are always asking me how they can improve their grade. You're the first to ask how to improve my day!

Gift

• Oh. Is this the sort of thing one usually gifts to their young, sexy professors? Because I swear I've seen something like this in a retirement-aged colleague's office...

Poke

• Excuse me! No horseplay in the lab!
• Test the theory if you must, but I can tell you, yes, serious scientists do giggle! Hehehe! See?

Upgrade to Friendzoned

1. You were a good student. Other than that one–ahem–notable exception, you weren't disruptive in class. And you didn't fall asleep even once!
2. So I suppose what I'm saying is... You're welcome to sit in on my classes again if you like. I won't even charge you tuition.

You're in the Friendzone with Miss Desirée! Teacher's pet, much?

Friendzoned

• Of course you can carry my books! I should warn you, though: the average physics text has a noticeable force of gravitational attraction with the Earth... That is to say, they're heavy AF!

Talk

• A defining feature of any woman we culturally deem to be "a bombshell" is her platinum blonde hair, correct? But in all actuality, platinum is closer to silver than gold in hue! Ergo, I'm still a bombshell. And I have the body, too, not that that was ever in doubt.
• A train is traveling a hundred kilometers an hour. But riding that train is a common housefly, who is currently buzzing his way from the caboose to the engine at the eight kilometer per hour speed typical of his species. How fast is he really flying?
• Would you believe it? One time someone tried to pick me up by saying they were a scientist too. When I asked what discipline, they told me Mixology! So I got them to make me a drink before I turned them down. Not a bad martini, actually.
• Don't get me wrong, compliments on my brilliance are always welcome, but there are times that compliments on my brilliant bod are even better. This is one of those times, by the way.
• The latest issue of my subscription to Communications in Mathematical Physics should be waiting for me when I arrive home today! I wonder who's on the cover this week? Oooh, I can hardly wait to find out!
• There are days I want to debate the limitations of time travel within the framework of Einstein's theory of special relativity, and then there are days I want to watch a sexy tv show about going back in time and falling in love with a shirtless warrior. Sometimes they are the same day.

Gift

• Oh! Why this is lovely, but it's too much, really! I couldn't possibly accept. Well, if you insist...

Poke

• Excuse me! No horseplay in the lab!
• Test the theory if you must, but I can tell you, yes, serious scientists do giggle! Hehehe! See?

Upgrade to Awkward Besties

1. Flip that tassel on your proverbial cap, because you've graduated to the friend zone!
2. That means you're invited to campus pub nights, but not the more... Intimate social occasions I host in my private residence. At least, not yet...

Miss Desirée is your Awkward Bestie.

Awkward Besties

• Just the person I wanted to see! I wanted to bounce some ideas for my next lecture off of you... Although now that I'm looking at you, I have a different kind of bouncing in mind...

Flirt

• Don't get me wrong, compliments on my brilliance are always welcome, but there are times that compliments on my brilliant bod are even better. This is one of those times, by the way.
• The latest issue of my subscription to Communications in Mathematical Physics should be waiting for me when I arrive home today! I wonder who's on the cover this week? Oooh, I can hardly wait to find out!
• There are days I want to debate the limitations of time travel within the framework of Einstein's theory of special relativity, and then there are days I want to watch a sexy tv show about going back in time and falling in love with a shirtless warrior. Sometimes they are the same day.
• You don't think Marie Curie is prettier than me, do you?
• I'd love to hear your thoughts on string theory versus loop quantum gravity. Alternately, you can describe, in detail, all the things you'd like to do to my body. The choice is yours!
• People are always asking me whether I'm a white wine or red wine kind of woman. What a question! Can't there be a unifying theory of fermented grape drinking?
• If there is such thing as an infinite multiverse, then it stands to reason that in at least one alternate reality, you and I are... More than friends? I mean, hypothetically!

Gift

• Oh! Why this is lovely, but it's too much, really! I couldn't possibly accept. Well, if you insist...

Poke

• Test the theory if you must, but I can tell you, yes, serious scientists do giggle! Hehehe! See?
• You're getting awfully bold, aren't you? I didn't say I didn't like it!

Upgrade to Crush

1. I've always loved to curl up with a good glass of wine and a thousand page book of cutting edge theoretical physics...
2. But lately I've been burning for someone to share it with. Could it be... You?

Miss Desirée has a Crush on you!

Crush

• Oh dear! Why is it that every time I see you I wind up so tongue tied I worry I won't recover in time to teach my next class!

Flirt

• It's not fair. I tried to picture my lecture hall naked in order to calm my nerves, but all I could think about was you! That didn't calm me down at all!
• You make me think there might be more to life than what can be quantifiably observed in reproducible laboratory conditions.
• Diamonds have myriad practical uses in the field of science but I've never heard of using them the way you do!
• The new dean gifted me a bottle of top shelf, very expensive scotch. And I can't think of anyone I'd rather share it with than you.
• An intelligent woman is one who knows her own mind. Knows what she wants. And what I want... Is you.
• Feel free to compliment me whenever you feel like it. The old guard establishment may be loathe to admit it, but flattery will get you everywhere in academia. And with me, specifically.

Gift

• Squee! This is so cute! Ahem. I mean... My regards for this thoughtful token of your affection.

Poke

• Test the theory if you must, but I can tell you, yes, serious scientists do giggle! Hehehe! See?
• You're getting awfully bold, aren't you? I didn't say I didn't like it!

Upgrade to Sweetheart

1. Did you accidentally magnetize yourself in the lab?
2. Because I'm suddenly finding myself rather attracted to you!

You and Miss Desirée are Sweethearts!

Sweetheart

• You... Me... A picnic lunch behind the bleachers... What do you say?

Flirt

• The new dean gifted me a bottle of top shelf, very expensive scotch. And I can't think of anyone I'd rather share it with than you.
• An intelligent woman is one who knows her own mind. Knows what she wants. And what I want... Is you.
• Feel free to compliment me whenever you feel like it. The old guard establishment may be loathe to admit it, but flattery will get you everywhere in academia. And with me, specifically.
• I was so laser focused on becoming a tenured professor before thirty that all I did was work, work, work! Even once I achieved my goal, I found it hard to switch off. It was like the part of me that was fun-loving and spontaneous had atrophied from disuse. Then I texted you and that all changed. You helped me be me again, gray hair or not. Thank you.
• I need a day off. Do wayward students still pull the fire alarm unnecessarily? Would you like to?
• Would you still love me if I was a tardigrade?

Gift

• Squee! This is so cute! Ahem. I mean... My regards for this thoughtful token of your affection.

Poke

• You're getting awfully bold, aren't you? I didn't say I didn't like it!
• Heehee! Careful now! Too much squirming and I might pop a garter!

Upgrade to Girlfriend

1. I may be a tenured professor, but looking at you makes me feel like a giddy schoolgirl again!
2. My cheeks flush, my heart beats in my ears, I feel the sensation colloquially referred to as "butterflies" in my stomach...

Miss Desirée is your Girlfriend!

Girlfriend

• My mind's been working overtime today. No, not untangling string theory. Coming up with excuses to see you!

Flirt

• I was so laser focused on becoming a tenured professor before thirty that all I did was work, work, work! Even once I achieved my goal, I found it hard to switch off. It was like the part of me that was fun-loving and spontaneous had atrophied from disuse. Then I texted you and that all changed. You helped me be me again, gray hair or not. Thank you.
• I need a day off. Do wayward students still pull the fire alarm unnecessarily? Would you like to?
• Would you still love me if I was a tardigrade?
• I wouldn't mind if you fell into my 'gravity well', if you know what I mean...
• In physics, there are certain fundamental physical constants that define our universe: the speed of light in a vacuum, Newton's gravitational constant, the mass of particles...But I'd propose one more: the rate of growth in my affection for you! We could call it the Marshmallow Constant!

Gift

• Oh! Oh my. Thank you. Did I get caught up in my research and forget another special occasion, again?

Poke

• You're getting awfully bold, aren't you? I didn't say I didn't like it!
• Heehee! Careful now! Too much squirming and I might pop a garter!

Upgrade to Lover

1. I think it's long past time we make this thing between us official.
2. So I want you on my arm as my permanent plus one at academic functions from now on. Deal?

Miss Desirée is in Love with you! A+!

Lover

• I cancelled my classes today. Did I not mention that when I invited you to come visit? Oops! Oh well, since you're already here and we have the whole classroom to ourselves... Why not take advantage?
• You must be wondering why I called you to my office... Well, all will be revealed in due time, so be a dear and lock the door while I close the blinds.
• I've got two bottles of wine and a stack of marking to do. All I need now is someone to lovingly massage me while I work. Wink, wink.
• Oh excellent, you're here. I've just had a stroke of brilliance: let's play hooky and go make out in the library stacks!
• I've been conceptualizing some "hands on" experiments that will illustrate the scientific concepts of velocity and force of impact. Care to be my assistant?
• When I'm with you, I feel vibrant and attractive and on the cusp of a bright future. Just as I am.
• (Naked) I've just learned of an exciting new field of study: jiggle physics! Care to help me conduct experiments?
• (Naked) Why, if it isn't my favorite little apple polisher. How about you give these Honeycrisps a fondle?
• (Naked) Well? Don't keep me waiting...

Seduce

• I wouldn't mind if you fell into my 'gravity well', if you know what I mean...
• In physics, there are certain fundamental physical constants that define our universe: the speed of light in a vacuum, Newton's gravitational constant, the mass of particles...But I'd propose one more: the rate of growth in my affection for you! We could call it the Marshmallow Constant!
• You know how professors strive to make tenure? Well I want that, but in love. With you.
• I don't know that I will ever be able to look at you sitting there in front of me without my breath catching.
• I'm glad I get to share my slice of spacetime with you.
• Let's go on a romantic European vacation! How do you feel about CERN in Switzerland? If we meet a cute research assistant, we could call it an academic exchange! And have a lot more fun.
• Some women in my position would prefer to be noticed and appreciated for their brains rather than their beauty. To which I say, why not both?
• Want to stay after class and help me "clean the erasers"? Yes, I realize traditional chalkboards haven't been in use at most reputable institutions for at least a decade. Just play along!
• It's funny, now I'm looking forward to going gray with you.
• I need you to take me blouse shopping. All of the ones currently hanging in my closet have popped buttons!
• Let's stay in and play with lasers.
• I bought us a couple bottles of wine. I thought perhaps we could go wild and debate the Black Hole Firewall Paradox until we either form a working theory or the situation devolves into angry makeup sex.
• Movies get it all wrong. We academics don't need to let our hair down or take off our glasses to be sexy. In point of fact, I'd argue it's quite the opposite, don't you agree?
• I can't completely discount the possibility that this is all some manner of simulation. But would it matter if it was? It feels real to us.
• In all the vastness of time and space, you and I still managed to cross paths. What are the odds? Perhaps as a scientist I shouldn't say this, but that feels like fate to me.
• Can you sit... Just there? Just a smidge more to the left. Perfect. Now I have something nice to gaze at when I get lost in thought solving these equations.
• Oh no, I'm purely a professor of Sciences. The Arts are too nebulous and... Subjective for my tastes. The speed of light is constant, so why can't blue curtains just be blue?
• You know what they say about physicists. We're experts in Kinetic Energy.
• It's almost summer term. I was thinking you and I could spend every single day of it in varying states of undress.
• What's this, a coffee with a splash of Irish Cream? Why Marshmallow, you remembered!
• People think of me as a head in the clouds scholar, but it isn't equations equations equations all the time, you know. My scientific background translates into a formidable advantage in the game of golf, for example.
• Perhaps there is a fundamental symmetry to our universe. How else could you and I be so perfectly aligned?
• I'm such an A-Type personality. I love to stay on top of things... And people.
• With past flings I was often so under-stimulated I'd have to solve quadratic equations to stay alert in the bedroom. With you I'd be lucky to come up with the sum of two plus two.
• Go ahead, let out your inner animal and rip my stockings. I have plenty more pairs where they came from.
• Did you know we're all made of starstuff? And people say cold hard science can't be romantic!
• I wonder how many alternate universes there are where we nonetheless still fall for one another. Oh, to experience love across such infinity!
• All I ever wanted was for someone to play with my hair while I was absorbed in my work!
• (Naked) I want you. Here. Now. No, don't ask me to extrapolate any further on either of those concepts.
• (Naked) They ought to ban me from the Physics department, because these breasts defy gravity!
• (Naked) I've been having this recurring fantasy about you lifting me onto the edge of my desk and wrapping my legs around you...
• (Naked) I love technology. I have about as many highly specialized machines in my bedside drawer as I do in the lab.
• (Naked) How about today you be the professor and I'll be the teacher's pet?
• (Naked) You can call me the Golden Ratio, because it would appear my curves are drawing your eye!
• (Naked) Don't get me started on quantum entanglement. If I'm going to be 'at it' all night, there are better, naughtier things I'd rather be doing.
• (Naked) You know? I think I've run out of pithy, intellectual pick up lines. Just get over here and do me!
• (Naked) I have a little challenge for you: solve for y. As in, "y" are we not engaged in coitus right now?

Gift

• Oh! Oh my. Thank you. Did I get caught up in my research and forget another special occasion, again?
• If I were to assign this gift a grade, it would be so high it would knock the curve askew for everyone else!
• You know, only someone who truly gets me would think to give me something like this. You really care, don't you?
• You're getting a gold star for this gift! No, really! Now where did I put that sticker book...
• Oh! Nobody's ever given me anything like this before! You really do know how to make a woman feel special.
• [School Uniform] I don't know whether to be put off or intrigued by the role reversal at play here. Or perhaps the greatest enjoyment is found in the friction between the two...
• [Bathing Suit] Do you find it attractive when a very smart woman makes very silly puns? Because I've got a good one about getting "lei'd"... Wink wink!
• [Diamond Ring] My childhood daydreams were more likely to include PhD after my name than a "Mrs." before it... But I must admit: this dress, with you, sets my imagination a flutter!
• [Holiday Outfit] This cozy sweater makes me want to snuggle in front of a fireplace with a glass of hot mulled wine. If you bring the matches, I'll bring the merlot!
• [Lingerie] Hmm... Something about this ensemble compels me to utilize more corporal punishment in our private lessons...
• [Birthday Suit] They say it helps with public speaking to imagine your audience naked, so I thought perhaps we could test the theory.

Poke

• Heehee! Careful now! Too much squirming and I might pop a garter!
• My, my. Someone must want me to keep them after class...
• Oh please! Mercy! Anywhere but there!
• (Naked) Ohh, mmm. Now do it again, a little lower. Or a little higher. Your choice.
• (Naked) Can I interest you in taking part in a little experiment? I'd like to try that again... But bent over my desk.
• (Naked) Ooooh, your fingers make me feel like there's an electric charge under my skin. And I would know. I've electrocuted myself in the course of my experiments more than once.
• (Naked) Yes, go on, touch me, don't be shy! Hehehe!

Sex Scene

1. Ever the instructor, Miss Desirée shows you exactly how she likes to be touched, first with her own fingers and then with her hand guiding yours. But while she may be a great teacher, you're also an exceptional student, and before long you're showing her new pleasures beyond even her visionary genius mind.
2. Afterwards, she stretches out languidly, her skin glistening in the moonlight. "I'd say something about giving you top marks, but I'd hate to assign a grade when I know there's so much more left for you to show me." She takes off her fogged up glasses and smiles. "So what do you say? Shall we continue our...vigorous research?"

Dates

• [Moonlight Stroll] It's a good thing I always carry my pointer, because I just couldn't resist that perfect opportunity to tell you about the moon's gravitational interaction with the earth! But of course, you're right, the moonlight was very pretty, too!
• [Movie Theater] That film contained an insulting amount of flawed science... And yet, every time an improbable plot twist occurred, your hand would casually brush against mine in the popcorn bucket, thus shorting out my higher brain function and causing me to forget why I was annoyed. Whether or not you were doing that on purpose... I liked it a lot!
• [Sightseeing] Just because I was cold on our tour doesn't mean my scarf was useless! It served as a perfect real life demonstration of Bernoulli's Principle!
• [Beach] Sunbathing by the pool is lovely, but by the beach is better! And having you there by my side? Well, that was the best!

Dialogue about Ayeka

• There's this student that's been lurking around. I don't recognize her, but she's always giving me the evil eye! Did I give her a bad grade in the past?
• I found an apple on my desk this morning but I'm not sure if I should eat it. Sure, it looks fine, but it keeps setting off my geiger counter...
• Will you walk me back to my office after class? I have this crawling sensation down my spine.
• That duplicitous, scheming cad, so-called former "Dean" Hoff... Do you think he's having me followed in order to build up a counter-suit? I swear I'm being watched!
• I've had students get a little overly-familiar with me in the past, certainly. I swear some of them imprint on me like baby ducklings! But the level of obsessiveness this girl is exhibiting... It's almost pathological.
• I think a student may be playing a prank on me. Someone broke into my office, but they didn't steal anything, not even the answers to the test! They just left a box of Grays Go Away hair dye on my desk...

Requirement Table

Relationship Level	Requirements				Completion Reward
	Affection	Requirement 2	Requirement 3	Requirement 4
Adversary	500,000,000	80,000 Book	Supreme Justice (Legal)	Lvl 44 Motivation	0.34×
Nuisance	3,000,000,000	900 Tea Set	100,000 Earrings	Lvl 48 Suave	0.51×
Frenemy	27,000,000,000	5,500 Shoes	Avatar of Order (Legal)	Lvl 51 Smart	0.68×
Acquaintance	297,000,000,000	200,000 Book	3,200 Designer Bag	Lvl 55 Suave	0.85×
Friendzoned	3.861 × 1012 (3.861 Trillion)	90,000 Necklace	3,000 New Car	15 Moonlight Stroll	1.02×
Awkward Besties	57.915 × 1012 (57.915 Trillion)	45 Magic Candles	Lvl 62 Smart	25 Beach	1.19×
Crush	984.555 × 1012 (984.555 Trillion)	75 Enchanted Scarf	Eros (Love)	40 Sightseeing	1.36×
Sweetheart	18.706545 × 1015 (~18.71 Quadrillion)	50 Bewitched Jam	Lvl 70 Wisdom	50 Movie Theater	1.53×
Girlfriend	392.837445 × 1015 (~392.84 Quadrillion)	100 Mystic Slippers	1 Apple	Lvl 73 Smart	1.70×
Lover	You did it!

Adversary	Req.s	500,000,000 Affection
		80,000 Book
		Supreme Justice (Legal)
		Lvl 44 Motivation
	Reward	0.34×
Nuisance	Req.s	3,000,000,000 Affection
		900 Tea Set
		100,000 Earrings
		Lvl 48 Suave
	Reward	0.51×
Frenemy	Req.s	27,000,000,000 Affection
		5,500 Shoes
		Avatar of Order (Legal)
		Lvl 51 Smart
	Reward	0.68×
Acquaintance	Req.s	297,000,000,000 Affection
		200,000 Book
		3,200 Designer Bag
		Lvl 55 Suave
	Reward	0.85×
Friendzoned	Req.s	3.861 × 1012 (3.861 Trillion) Affection
		90,000 Necklace
		3,000 New Car
		15 Moonlight Stroll
	Reward	1.02×
Awkward Besties	Req.s	57.915 × 1012 (57.915 Trillion) Affection
		45 Magic Candles
		Lvl 62 Smart
		25 Beach
	Reward	1.19×
Crush	Req.s	984.555 × 1012 (984.555 Trillion) Affection
		75 Enchanted Scarf
		Eros (Love)
		40 Sightseeing
	Reward	1.36×
Sweetheart	Req.s	18.706545 × 1015 (~18.71 Quadrillion) Affection
		50 Bewitched Jam
		Lvl 70 Wisdom
		50 Movie Theater
	Reward	1.53×
Girlfriend	Req.s	392.837445 × 1015 (~392.84 Quadrillion) Affection
		100 Mystic Slippers
		1 Apple
		Lvl 73 Smart
	Reward	1.70×
Lover	You did it!

Trivia

• Miss Desirée's last roommate was a ghost, that's when you mentioned a "Ghost" - which you refer to Generica besides Alpha (Songaloid) and Pamu (Trickster).
• Miss Desirée seems to also teach English, as her third photo presumably shows her writing about To Kill a Mockingbird, a classic American novel by Harper Lee.
• The response “Miss Desirée, I think you may be trying to seduce me.” is a reference to the movie The Graduate, where the main character says nearly the same thing when seduced by an older woman.
• She is a physicist.
• Miss Desirée was the first Phone Fling whose messages depend on your responses.
  • Some of the Phone Flings before hers have been updated to also have this feature.

Gallery

• 
  "Here you are. Miss Desirée of S.T.F. University. Peanut can confirm my identity."
• 
  "Sending an unsolicited picture of a sexual nature probably fits that description."
• 
  "It was fun, but I might have been a bit... distracted. I started teaching the wrong course."
• 
  "Tell me I´m beautiful... But only if you really mean it."
• 
  "My emotions really did get the best of me just now, I´m afraid."
• 
  Mobile Vers.
• 
  "There you go. Welcome to my pool party."

• 
  Encounter
• 
  CRUSHED!
• 
  Encounter
• 
  Friendzoned
• 
  Sweetheart
• 
  Lover
• Moonlight Stroll Date
  Moonlight Stroll Date
• Beach Date
  Beach Date
• Sightseeing Date
  Sightseeing Date
• Movie Theater Date
  Movie Theater Date

Dates (School Spirit Event)

• 
  School Spirit Moonlight Stroll Date
• 
  School Spirit Beach Date
• 
  School Spirit Sightseeing Date
• 
  School Spirit Movie Theater Date

• 
  Encounter
• 
  Mad
• 
  Harassed
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Mobile

• 
  Encounter
• 
  Mad
• 
  Harassed
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Holiday Outfit

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

School Uniform

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Bathing Suit

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Diamond Ring

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Sprites - DX Wedding Dress

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Holiday Outfit

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

School Uniform

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Bathing Suit

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Diamond Ring

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

Deluxe Wedding Dress

• 
  Neutral
• 
  Happy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Likes You LOTS

• 
  Moonlight Stroll
• 
  Beach
• 
  Sightseeing
• 
  Movie Theater