Anon

OverviewRequirementsGallery

Anon is the fifth guy to appear in Blush Blush. He is unlocked by reaching level 12 in the Gaming (Gamer) hobby.

Anon is turned into a lemur, and meets you in a café after you accidentally hack into NORAD.

Personality

Anon comes off as a reclusive and cheeky geek who is content with his tendency to spend most of his time online. He is a hacker who you can commission to hack into peoples cell phone devices. He's implied to be the brother of Nina from Crush Crush.

Messages

His phone fling is available to purchase for  10 Diamonds after reaching the Lover relationship level with him.

Note that pauses under 5 minutes long are not indicated. Where the progress column says (A) or (B), these are your left and right options for how to respond.

SFW Version

Progress	SFW chat
1/30	Heya, it’s me.
2/30	And don’t you dare ask “Who?”
3/30	I’m intimately familiar with your skillset.
4/30	I know you have ways of figuring out who I am, blocked number or no.
(A)	Ah, Anon. How have you been?
(B)	Mr. President?! But this isn’t a secure line!
5/30	Honestly? I’ve been better.	President Anon, huh? Has a nice ring to it. Things would be way different around here, that’s for sure.
6/30	For starters, the bleedin’ internet at my flat has been down all day.	For starters, the bleedin’ internet at my flat wouldn't be down.
7/30	Some fu…riendly woodland critter is after gnawing through the fibre optic cables that service half the city!
8/30	And I'M about to start eating drywall out of pure frustration!
(A)	Well, if you’re texting me you must still have cellular data at least?
(B)	Don’t eat drywall! Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?
9/30	Sure, sure.	That’s a reference to a gif, aye? I remember when I, too, was free to meme my way across the world wide web…
10/30	If it were only doomscrolling I was missing out on, then maybe I’d be alright.
11/30	But the new Dank Souls update just dropped and all my friends are grinding without me!
(A)	One time there wasn’t desk space for me at a LAN party so I made them tape me to the ceiling…
(B)	Can’t you just play it offline?
12/30	I’d gladly break out the duct tape if any of my friends even lived in the same time zone!	Now why didn’t I think of that! I’ll just bust out my CD-ROM copy of the game, will I?
13/30	I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be short with ye.
14/30	You’re only trying to help.
(A)	“Short”? Pfft, as if someone as long and lean as you could ever…
(B)	Trying to help, maybe, but not BEING very helpful…
15/30	Not that kind of “short” I meant, but you can keep sweet talking me.	Maybe not.
16/30	I could use the distraction.	But your heart’s in the right place.
17/30	I’m pretty much desperate at this stage.
18/30	I’ve already disinfected all my ceilings…
19/30	Researched how to harness the electricity generated by succulents in order to run a truly green crypto mining rig…
20/30	Called my internet provider so many times they threatened to start billing me by the minute if I bugged them again…
21/30	Finally I was left with no choice but to do the unthinkable: leave the house and go to an internet cafe.
(A)	Didn’t WE meet at an internet cafe?
(B)	Why not come here and use my wifi?
22/30	I didn’t want to be there then, either.	As if I could be in the same room as you and focus on gaming!
23/30	But some operations are too risky to carry out on your home wifi, even with a VPN.	I may forget to eat periodically, but there are some needs of the flesh that even I cannot ignore!
24/30	There’s a time and place for everything, IMO.
25/30	Now, if only the NPCs of the world didn’t think this cafe was “the place” for THEM.
26/30	Them, and their phones on speaker, and their loud chewing, and their GERMS…
27/30	Ugh, being around people is rubbish!
28/30	Which is why I ran a script to make ghost reservations for all the upstairs tables.
29/30	But it was worth it to have the place to myself.
30/30	[Anon Photo 1]
(A)	What about the staff? Will they still get paid?
(B)	I’d love to know what sorts of fake names you came up with…
1/35	Don’t worry, they charge an automatic no-show fee to the card used in the original booking.	If you’re asking me if one of these tables was booked by a lad named “Boobs McGee”...
2/35	And I made sure those transactions went through as normal. Money these days is just a bunch of 1s and 0s after all…	I can neither confirm nor deny due to Internet Cafe Patron Privacy Privilege. Which is totally a thing.
3/35	As you can see, I’ve thought of everything.
4/35	I’ve got my drink, I’ve got my headphones…
5/35	And most importantly, I have an unchewed internet connection.
6/35	I’m ready to game at last!
Pause	8 minutes 20 second pause
7/35	Frackin’ shite…
8/35	Bloody useless…
(A)	Uh-oh… What happened?
(B)	Are ya… winnin’, son?
9/35	Oh, just the worst possible scenario outside of being hit by an asteroid…	Even the dankest of memes is no comfort to me now…
10/35	The internet in this pish cafe is as daeless as dial-up!
11/35	It’s pooched!
12/35	It’s pure toalie!
(A)	A… am I supposed to understand what any of that means?
(B)	Did you forget how to words?
13/35	It’s Scots for “Nothing’s working right and I’m about to blow a gasket!”	Oh, I remember plenty of words… But the only ones coming to mind currently are better suited to voice chat on an FPS.
14/35	I was able to download the update easily enough, aye.
15/35	But when it came time to run the game itself…
16/35	My ping skyrocketed straight to the stratosphere like it fancied itself a wee billionaire!
17/35	Friend or no… There isn’t a soul alive who’d have me in their party with the way I was rubberbanding.
(A)	Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something?
(B)	I admire your dedication. I’d have given up and downloaded an idle game ages ago.
18/35	I don’t normally put much stock in that sort of cosmic nonsense, but maybe you’ve got a point.	But is it dedication, or bullish stupidity?
19/35	Even when the wifi’s working perfectly…
20/35	This game still manages to stress me out every time I play.
21/35	You know, I’m not sure I’ve had a proper night’s rest since it was released?
22/35	And when I do manage to sleep, I dream about it!
(A)	I love me some games where you get a job, but they shouldn’t FEEL like work.
(B)	When you dream about it, are you also naked and late for school? Because if so, same!
23/35	Right? Why is working to pay off debts suddenly relaxing when the wanker you owe money to is a raccoon?	Maybe if I were naked in the dream, I’d at least wake up smiling.
24/35	Oof, okay, now that I’ve read back what I just wrote, that settles it.
25/35	I officially need a break.
(A)	Ooh, are we touching grass? Exciting!
(B)	Yeah, take this opportunity to disconnect from it all and just… be.
26/35	Grass? Like where dogs do number two? Ewwww!	What if the only way I can “be” is with the distraction of four screens at once?
27/35	But I guess now’s as good a time as any to try.
28/35	Alright, I’ll do it.
29/35	I’ll log off, and attempt to have an unplugged day.
30/35	You’ll stay on the line with me though, right?
(A)	Well, I could hardly let you detox alone now, could I?
(B)	Pfft, as if you could “unplug” from a livewire love like ours!
31/35	What, no group therapy session with free biscuits and tea?	Careful then, I’ll ZAP ya.
32/35	I’m going to chug the last of my drink and pack up now. DON’T go anywhere!
Pause	1 hour pause
33/35	K, I’m back.
34/35	Sending you a pic. I want you to tell me if I’m doing this “unplugged” thing correctly.
35/35	[Anon Photo 2]
(A)	Not that I’m complaining, but I thought you said unPLUGGED, not unDRESSED!
(B)	Mostly I’m hoping your wifi goes down more often, if this is how you do unplugged…
1/32	Can’t I do both at once?	Don’t go putting that out into the universe!
2/32	All joking aside, how do I look?
(A)	You look pretty de-stressed to me!
(B)	Is it the taking off your clothes that de-stresses you? Because in that case, you should do it more!
3/32	Taking off my pants is always an easy win when it comes to relaxation but…	More as in… more often? Or take off more clothes? Because…
4/32	I’m at a loss here.
5/32	Usually when I want to unwind I put on one of those “lo-fi rainy day chillstep music to study to” YewToob videos.
6/32	But that kinda violates the premise of “unplugged” time.
7/32	Er, even more than texting back and forth with you does, I mean.
8/32	What do YOU do to relax and unplug?
(A)	I have dozens of hobbies, remember? One of those is bound to do the trick…
(B)	I like to take a date on a paddleboat built for two!
9/32	Dangit… All my hobbies involve screens…	I remember that date. I also remember bringing my laptop along.
10/32	Och, I’m hopeless, aren’t I?
(A)	Nobody’s hopeless. We just have to find the hope we all carry inside us!
(B)	Hopelessness is like, a state of mind, man.
11/32	Cheesy, but you may be onto something.	When you’re right, you’re right. I need to adjust my mindset!
12/32	I’m going about this all wrong.
13/32	I got so hung up about the “unplugged” part I forgot all about the “relax and unwind” part!
14/32	Which was, you know, the whole point of this exercise in the first place?
15/32	But here I am trying to devise some mathematical formula…
16/32	Just to decide whether a given activity is “offline enough”!
17/32	What I really need to be focusing on is…
18/32	Me. Right here, right now.
(A)	That’s right, Anon. Stay here in this moment with me and tell me… what do YOU need?
(B)	Yes, focus on yourself the way I’m focused on you. Give YOU your 100% undivided attention.
19/32	Assuming I can’t say “wifi”...	Gawd, you make me swoon when you talk like that. You always know just what to say.
20/32	And aside from a big hug from my very sweet texting partner?	What I need to hear. What I need, period.
21/32	Ugh, can I be honest with you?
22/32	I think I just need a NAP!
23/32	I came home with grand designs to do something cool and exotic and instaface-worthy…
24/32	Like some photogenic meditation or mindfulness or whatever they’re calling it nowadays…
25/32	But from the second my arse touched this bed I’ve been fighting off sleep.
(A)	So stop fighting! Sleep is like love, baby, you just gotta let it carry you away!
(B)	Why fight it? Sleep is very much a thing you can do without wifi.
26/32	Well, since you’re an expert in love, you must also be an expert in sleep, so I should listen to you.	You’re right, what could be more unplugged than unplugging yourself from consciousness?
27/32	Just one problem…
28/32	If I’m asleep I can’t talk to you anymore.
29/32	Unless, of course… I see you in my dreams…
30/32	Which reminds me.
31/32	In the interest of fairness, here’s a little something to help you see me in yours…
32/32	[Anon Photo 3]
1/∞	Maybe by the time I wake up, my wifi will be up and running.
2/∞	If not, at least I know who to call for troubleshooting.
3/∞	Until then…

Uncut Version

The NSFW track diverges from the SFW track with your third reply. All three pictures are different between versions.

Progress	"Uncut" chat
1/30	Heya, it’s me.
2/30	And don’t you dare ask “Who?”
3/30	I’m intimately familiar with your skillset.
4/30	I know you have ways of figuring out who I am, blocked number or no.
(A)	Ah, Anon. How have you been?
(B)	Mr. President?! But this isn’t a secure line!
5/30	Honestly? I’ve been better.	President Anon, huh? Has a nice ring to it. Things would be way different around here, that’s for sure.
6/30	For starters, the bleedin’ internet at my flat has been down all day.	For starters, the bleedin’ internet at my flat wouldn't be down.
7/30	Some fu…riendly woodland critter is after gnawing through the fibre optic cables that service half the city!
8/30	And I'M about to start eating drywall out of pure frustration!
(A)	Well, if you’re texting me you must still have cellular data at least?
(B)	Don’t eat drywall! Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?
9/30	Sure, sure.	That’s a reference to a gif, aye? I remember when I, too, was free to meme my way across the world wide web…
10/30	If it were only doomscrolling I was missing out on, then maybe I’d be all right.
11/30	But the new Dank Souls update just dropped and all my friends are grinding without me!
(A)	You could always "grind" with me... Eyebrows, eyebrows...
(B)	Do you grind with all your friends often? Are they hot? Are there pics?
12/30	I appreciate you shooting your shot, but how's that supposed to earn me XP?	Wha?! I didn't mean it like that, you stupid, sexy philaderer!
13/30	I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be short with ye.
14/30	You’re only trying to help.
(A)	“Short”? Pfft, as if someone as long and lean as you could ever…
(B)	Trying to help, maybe, but not BEING very helpful…
15/30	Not that kind of “short” I meant, but you can keep sweet talking me.	Maybe not.
16/30	I could use the distraction.	But your heart’s in the right place.
17/30	I’m pretty much desperate at this stage.
18/30	I’ve already disinfected all my ceilings…
19/30	Researched how to harness the electricity generated by succulents in order to run a truly green crypto mining rig…
20/30	Called my internet provider so many times they threatened to start billing me by the minute if I bugged them again…
21/30	Finally I was left with no choice but to do the unthinkable: leave the house and go to an internet cafe.
(A)	Didn’t WE meet in an internet cafe?
(B)	Why not come here and use my wifi?
22/30	I didn’t want to be there then, either.	As if I could be in the same room as you and focus on gaming!
23/30	But some operations are too risky to carry out on your home wifi, even with a VPN.	I may forget to eat periodically, but there are some needs of the flesh that even I cannot ignore!
24/30	There’s a time and place for everything, IMO.
25/30	Now, if only the NPCs of the world didn’t think this cafe was “the place” for THEM.
26/30	Them, and their phones on speaker, and their loud chewing, and their GERMS…
27/30	Ugh, being around people is rubbish!
28/30	Which is why I ran a script to make ghost reservations for all the upstairs tables.
29/30	But it was worth it to have the place to myself.
30/30	[Anon NSFW Photo 1]
(A)	Well, I'm glad you DO have the place to yourself because uh...
(B)	So germs, huh? That's why you needed the cafe to yourself?
1/35	Noticed my cock, did ye?	Are you suggesting I did all this just to look at online porn?
2/35	I can't help it, executing a flawless hack has this way of getting my hard drive running.	I swear, I came here to play Dank Souls. I'm not responsible for what happens in my pants when I talk to you.
3/35	You're free to enjoy the view, though. As for me...
4/35	I’ve got my drink, I’ve got my headphones…
5/35	And most importantly, I have an unchewed internet connection.
6/35	I’m ready to game at last!
Pause	8 minutes 20 second pause
7/35	Frackin’ shite…
8/35	Bloody useless…
(A)	Uh-oh… What happened?
(B)	Are ya… winnin’, son?
9/35	Oh, just the worst possible scenario outside of being hit by an asteroid…	Even the dankest of memes is no comfort to me now…
10/35	The internet in this pish cafe is as daeless as dial-up!
11/35	It’s pooched!
12/35	It’s pure toalie!
(A)	A… am I supposed to understand what any of that means?
(B)	Did you forget how to words?
13/35	It’s Scots for “Nothing’s working right and I’m about to blow a gasket!”	Oh, I remember plenty of words… But the only ones coming to mind currently are better suited to voice chat on an FPS.
14/35	I was able to download the update easily enough, aye.
15/35	But when it came time to run the game itself…
16/35	My ping skyrocketed straight to the stratosphere like it fancied itself a wee billionaire!
17/35	Friend or no… There isn’t a soul alive who’d have me in their party with the way I was rubberbanding.
(A)	Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something?
(B)	I admire your dedication. I’d have given up and downloaded an idle game ages ago.
18/35	I don’t normally put much stock in that sort of cosmic nonsense, but maybe you’ve got a point.	But is it dedication, or bullish stupidity?
19/35	Even when the wifi’s working perfectly…
20/35	This game still manages to stress me out every time I play.
21/35	You know, I’m not sure I’ve had a proper night’s rest since it was released?
22/35	And when I do manage to sleep, I dream about it!
(A)	You should only be having dreams about what I do to your body.
(B)	Hmm... Have you tried playing a different game? A ~sexier~ one?
23/35	Knowing me, those dreams would involve not having enough points in stamina to keep up with you...	Well I have one where you crush cute anime waifus, but I've already burned through all the available content.
24/35	Oof, okay, now that I’ve read back what I just wrote, that settles it.
25/35	I officially need a break.
(A)	Ooh, are we touching grass? Exciting!
(B)	Yeah, take this opportunity to disconnect from it all and just… be.
26/35	Grass? Like where dogs do number two? Ewwww!	What if the only way I can “be” is with the distraction of four screens at once?
27/35	But I guess now’s as good a time as any to try.
28/35	Alright, I’ll do it.
29/35	I’ll log off, and attempt to have an unplugged day.
30/35	I expect to be handsomely rewarded for my efforts though, just sayin'...
(A)	I can think of a few ways to reward you that happen entirely offline...
(B)	How about a handsome handjob? ;)
31/35	In "meat" space you mean? For a "meat" cute? Heh heh heh...	As opposed to an ugly handjob? Which for the record is simply not possible when I'm the one getting the handy.
32/35	I’m going to chug the last of my drink and pack up now. DON’T go anywhere!
Pause	1 hour pause
33/35	K, I’m back.
34/35	Sending you a pic. I want you to tell me if I’m doing this “unplugged” thing correctly.
35/35	[Anon NSFW Photo 2]
(A)	Not that I’m complaining, but I thought you said unPLUGGED, not unDRESSED!
(B)	Mostly I’m hoping your wifi goes down more often, if this is how you do unplugged…
1/32	You better not be complaining, because content like this would command a hefty sum on these interwebs.	Dangerous monkey's paw, that. What if my cell service goes down too and you don't get any more dick pics?
2/32	Now focus. How do I look? Relaxation-wise, I mean.
(A)	You look pretty de-stressed to me!
(B)	Is it the taking off your clothes that de-stresses you? Because in that case, you should do it more!
3/32	Taking off my pants is always an easy win when it comes to relaxation but…	More as in… more often? Or take off more clothes? Because…
4/32	There's nae much else left for me to take off!
5/32	Usually when I want to unwind I put on one of those “lo-fi rainy day chillstep music to study to” YewToob videos.
6/32	But that kinda violates the premise of “unplugged” time.
7/32	Er, even more than texting back and forth with you does, I mean.
8/32	What do YOU do to relax and unplug?
(A)	Sometimes I DO the plugging, if you know what I mean...
(B)	Sometimes I let someone plug into ME, if you know what I mean...
9/32	Why no, I have no idea. Please tell me more about how that works...	I'm not sure I do. What kind of port are we talking, here? USB-C? HDMI? RCA?
10/32	Maybe I need a demonstration...
(A)	But how will that work? I'm all the way over here, and we said no screens!
(B)	Sure, but it'll have to wait until we see each other in person...
11/32	Really? You're sticking with the no screens thing? And here I thought I had a bulletproof excuse...	Oh, I see how it is. You're after more IRL time!
12/32	I guess I'll just have to settle for using my imagination.
13/32	Mmmm, this is nice.
14/32	I get to make my avatar do whatever I want...
15/32	Without worrying about my connection stability...
16/32	Or whether the visual specs are set too high for it to run smoothly...
17/32	Or if what I want to do was even programmed to be an option in the first place.
18/32	I'm completely in control...
(A)	Are you imagining three of me? Sometimes when I'm fantasizing I imagine three of me.
(B)	Awww, I wanna see too!
19/32	Three of you? At the same time? Phew, now there's a thought that's exhausting as it is intriguing...	I don't think screensharing technology has reached that point yet...
20/32	But no, just one of you is plenty enough to satisfy.	But I suppose you could use your own imagination and we could "remote play"...
21/32	I'm just thinking of having you here in bed with me...
22/32	On top of me...
23/32	Or maybe underneath me...
24/32	Grinding against me, your breath hot on my neck...
25/32	Our hands roaming all over each other's bodies...
(A)	And our mouths too, I hope? Because I can think of a few places I want to put mine...
(B)	Starting with those abs, because you are definitely the most ripped computer nerd I've ever met.
26/32	I hope one of those places is my... joystick.	Just make sure that if you lick your way down 'em, you go ALL the way down...
27/32	Oh, hell yeah... That's it, that's the cheat code right there...
28/32	Thanks for one hell of an orgasm, lover.
29/32	And thanks for reminding me meditation isn't the only option if you're looking to unplug and unwind.
30/32	Now, before I go take a well-deserved post-cum nap...
31/32	Here's a little something for you as a token of my appreciation.
32/32	[Anon NSFW Photo 3]
1/∞	Maybe by the time I wake up, my wifi will be up and running.
2/∞	If not, at least I know who to call for troubleshooting.
3/∞	Until then…

Dialogue List

First Meeting

1. You decide to try searching the "internets" for information on the manimals you cursed. You grab a seat at an internet cafe, and start internetting. But after a few quick searches, you realize you've accidentally hacked into NORAD.
2. A mysterious message pops-up on your screen, from a hacker called Anon. He congratulates you on your leet hacking skillz, and calls for a truce.
3. "I cannae BELIEVE ye beat ma best time! Even as I was tryin' to stop ye! That kind of hackin' demands a pint to celebrate. Let's go - I'm at the computer just in front of ye. Don't mind ma affliction."
4. You look up, and are surprised to see a lemur where you were expecting to see something more human-shaped. It's one of the boys you cursed! Now you just have to break the news that his 'affliction' is your fault...

Adversary

Pop-up Dialogue

• I'm a lemur. Can I be excused?

Talk

• At least ye didn't turn me into a frog. Long, lonely story that one. Name's Anon, by the by.
• Meh. At least I still have thumbs. I can type. I can raid. Ye can go. I got dis.
• U wot, mate? Ye sayin' yer the source of ma plight? Are ye just havin' a go at me?
• So yer the daft punk that /b/ witched me, aye? And here I was hopin' I was just trippin' red bulls or something.
• I should be doxxin' ye back to the stone age. Yer children's children will be receivin' glitter bombs when I'm through with ye!

Poke

• What did ye just do to me? I'll have you know I graduated top of ma class in the Navy Seals, and I have over 300 confirmed... Oh wait. This isn't the internet. Don't tickle me like that.

Upgrade to Acquaintance

1. Alright. If ye be insistin' on pesterin' me, ye can stick around. But be warned that I'm still plannin' ma revenge, and it will be a sight to behold when I enact it.
2. Good. We're both on the same page. Grab a controller, let's game.

Acquaintance

Pop-up Dialogue

• Perchin' on the toilet is ma new least favorite thing.

Talk

• Ye sure do like to blather. Mind puttin' these in a text, so I can ignore them at ma leisure?
• Stickin' around? Yer choice. But now we're gonna talk a bit about if P = NP, and all the applications it has on yer life. Startin' right now.
• Did ye know we're a quantum tunnelin' event away from collapsin' the false vacuum of the universe and ceasin' to exist? Bein' a lemur don't seem so bad now, aye?
• Ugh. I've got this weird impulse to bask in the sun now. I'm a gawd-damn basement dweller with a sun fetish. Where's a decent poacher when ye need em?
• I caught myself hackin' into the global banana supply database today. I was less concerned about the impulse, and more about the fact that there's a global banana supply database.

Date

• [Same as Adversary]

Poke

• [Same as Adversary]

Upgrade to Frenemy

1. I'm lookin' for a character reference on ma resume. I'm puttin' yer number on there, and yer goin' to say nice things for me, aye?
2. Good, I'm glad we understand one another. Also, this wasn't the most awkward way ever to ask for yer number. Don't be slanderin' me with yer baseless accusations.
3. [With 'Friend' picture] While you're outside getting some much needed sun, Anon looks up from his phone laughing. "Ahaha! Look'it this little guy. He fell down! Hahaha! Oh, by the way, we're friends now. Don't make a big deal o'vit."

Frenemy

Pop-up Dialogue

• The next twat that yells zaboomafoo in ma face is gettin' wrecked.

Talk

• [Same as Acquaintance]

Gift

• Ah, thanks. Nice and practical, and I can sell it online if I ever need extra scratch. Perfect!

Date

• [Same as Acquaintance]

Poke

• [Same as Acquaintance]

Upgrade to Friendzoned

1. Ye be a nice sort. Just the sort to fit nicely in the friendzone. Bet ye hear that pretty often, aye?
2. Glad I could keep a tradition goin'.

Friendzone

Pop-up Dialogue

• A lemur's diet consists mostly of fruit and leaves. That was already ma diet. Only I did other stuff with the leaves...

Talk

• I hacked into the Pentagon again today. I left a crumb train, so the NSA would raid ma home. When they got there, I was a lemur. I'm like a troll gawd now.
• I was just thinkin' how much I bloody love cats. Fuzzy little murder machines. Turn me into a cat next time, if yer feelin' kindly.
• HA! I just realized that yer magic spell regressed ma genetics and throws evolution into doubt. Checkmate atheists, aye?
• Did ye know the word "Lemur" is Latin for "spirit of the dead". If yer wonderin' if that's ma new gamertag, yer damn right.
• All of me closeted furry friends are spammin' me with DTFs now. That's nae me complainin'. I'm from the internet. I'd be more insulted if they did nae do it.
• It's the little mistakes that get ye. Ma first energy drink, I failed to account for bein' a quarter ma size. Lemurs don't need 2000 mg of taurine; let me tell ye.

Gift

• [Same as Frenemy]

Date

• [Same as Frenemy]

Poke

• [Same as Frenemy]

Upgrade to Awkward Besties

1. Wut's that? We gotta snog to break the curse? Flippin' A, that's ma kinda curse. Are ye sure a pint won't do the trick? Aw well. Kiss it is.
2. Here's goes nothing.
3. [With 'Kiss' picture] "So we gotta try a kiss to break the curse? Haha! Ye've gotta kiss a monkey!" He puckers up, the sparkles and bubbles appear, and the face you're kissing gets much less furry. Progress!

Awkward Besties

Pop-up Dialogue

• I missed pants. Never thought I would say that.

Talk

• Did ye know lemurs have a matriarchal society? Ye could say it taught me about male privilege and equality. But then again, ye could say lots of things. Like, "I am a banana."
• But now ye see the truth, aye? I be as ginger as Canada Dry. Ye best be warned what that means... That I'm just as sweet and refreshin' too. Wink wink.
• Are ye busy? I was thinkin' about hackin' into the power grid for the western seaboard and causin' massive blackouts for the lulz. But we could go get ice cream instead, I suppose.
• Oh thank Cthulhu, I can wash ma hands properly again. Sweet burnin' sensation of alcohol-based cleansers, how I've missed ye!
• Oh hey, I'm mostly human again. I'll celebrate by doin' the stuff I was already doin'. But sexier.
• Yesterday I hacked into the NCIC to wipe yer criminal record. But it was already blank. I think that means we need to cause a little more trouble around here.
• Glad to have ma manhood back and proper though. It might be the silliest lookin' thing in nature, but gawd damn if i wasn't over havin' fuzzy junk instantly.
• If ye be unable to cure me of these ears and tail, we can call it even if ye give yerself soma too. I think ye'd look fetchin' with soma kitty ears.

Poke

• I get tickled. I laugh. I upvote.

Gift

• Ye don't need to buy me things! No really - I can get just about anything I want on the dark web. I've got bitcoin for days.

Upgrade to Crush

1. I was thinkin' today that I'd like to start awkwardly flirtin' with ye. I recommend before things go further that ye make peace with that.
2. Good. There's nothing worse about awkward flirtin' than it actually bein' awkward. I can't abide that much cringe in ma life.

Crush

Pop-up Dialogue

• Nah, ye don't need to adjust yer settings. I really look this good.

Talk

• [Same as Awkward Besties]

Gift

• Aww, look it ye givin' me nice things like it's goin' out of style. Just like this gift. Ha! Just jokin' luv, don't look at me like that.

Date

• [Same as Awkward Besties]

Poke

• [Same as Awkward Besties]

Upgrade to Sweetheart

1. So yer sayin that "feels = reals" or soma nonsense, and the power of love and friendship is gonna change me back?
2. I cannae believe I'm stuck in some weeaboo bullshit fantasy game. Oh well - let's give'er a try!

Sweetheart

Pop-up Dialogue

• Unfortunately, I must still smell pretty attractive to other lemurs. Ma last trip to the zoo, there were a lot of thirsty lemurs checkin' me out...

Talk

• [Same as Crush]

Poke

• [Same as Crush]

Gift

• [Same as Crush]

Upgrade to Boyfriend

1. I accidentally updated ma Twitch stream that I was in a relationship. I don't want to be bothered changin' it back, so let's just make it official, aye?
2. Great. Thanks for savin' me nine seconds of inconvenience. I appreciate it.

Boyfriend

Pop-up Dialogue

• Oi, nice to see ye. Are we goin' to be makin' a nuisance of ourselves together today?

Talk

• I just noticed yer the attractive sort. Ye've got the kind of eyes that take one's breath away. If I faint, I'm hackin' yer instagram.
• Ye busy? I was goin' to make a bad "Nutflix and chill" joke, then get super awkward when ye hesitate, before goin' to make memes for a few hours instead. But I can cancel.
• Damn. I actually really like ye, and I want to do a bunch of romantic normie bs now. Ma sarcastic nature just can't handle it.
• We should hold hands. Once ye've washed yers. No offense. The thought of microscopic germs pollutin' ma bloodstream and impregnatin' me with their asexual offspring just ruins the mood a bit.
• I like ye better than cats. Almost. It's within R point two plus minus alt 5. That's crazy romantic, aye?

Poke

• Ack! Ye made me giggle! Now it's ma turn to make ye blush!

Gift

• This will look great on ma bedroom floor. In fact there's a few things I could imagine lookin' great there...

Upgrade to Lover

1. So this is it. The last level before I turn back to normal. It's been uhh... Pleasant actually. Ye've been a right proper sweetheart, and I hope ye choose to stick around.
2. Thanks luv. I feel the same.
3. [With 'Transformation' picture] While playing some couch co-op, Anon gives you a sideways look, then leans over and kisses you. It's a quick, silly thing... But it causes a magical explosion! Anon falls to the ground, a little stunned and surprised. The curse is broken!
4. [With 'Lover' picture] "Hey - I took this photo for ye to get'cha hot and bothered. Did it work? And no, before ye accuse me, I did nae photoshop the abs. You can tell because of the way it is. Hit me up sometime when you want to make trouble." - Anon

Sex Scene

While playing some couch co-op, you feel Anon's hand move up the inside of your thigh. He caresses your groin, and leans over to kiss you. He's just starting to undress, when a magical explosion sends him (and his clothes) flying. The curse is broken! He pauses for a moment, and you can see his erection throbbing intensely. He shrugs, picks himself up, and begins to undress you. He licks your neck, your stomach, and your privates until you feel your body shudder with pleasure. When you finally grasp his dick, he can only last a few moments before cumming himself. Later, laying on your couch, he laughs, "Haha! Damn! Yer better with yer hands than I thought. Mind if we go another round? Feel like I got something to prove now." Another round becomes three more before he finally collapses, exhausted.

Lover

Pop-up Dialogue

• Ye be a fairer sight than a bitcoin surge, luv!

Talk

• [Same as Boyfriend]

Gift

• [Same as Boyfriend]

Upgrade to Max Lover

1. Yeah yeah yeah. Stop givin' me that smug look. Yer as romantic as hell, n' ye keep blowin' ma mind. Shut it.
2. Ahh, just jokin', ma wee haggis! Keep it up. Ye know I love it.

Max Lover (Lover+)

Pop-up Dialogue

• Hey, what sort of nonsense are we gettin' into today?
• Ahh! There ya are! I was refreshin' yer instagram like a mad man, but ya weren't updatin'! Guess I was afraid I wouldn't see ya today.
• Ahh, ya snuggly bastard. Give me a hug! That's definitely one thing that's way better in person than in a DM.
• Ya know, ya still make me gasp a little every time I see ya. Maybe I'm a little allergic?
• Want to go to the zoo today? Tempt fate?
• (Naked) How does a screen junkie like me stay so fit you ask? I vibrate. Ma leg bounces are the stuff of legend.
• (Naked) Surprise! I still be naked!
• (Naked) Ma clothes didn't load. Yer wifi sucks, I guess.

Talk

• Nae gonna lie, I miss the ears. I was a kawaii little bastard, aye? But I'm glad ma headphones aren't just cosmetic anymore.
• Looks like ye've cured me with the power of love. That's so lame that we may as well kiss and live happily ever after, like the bloody cliches we are.
• I think our relationship is ready to go to the next level. Let's get a cat.
• Ya should keep wearin' whatever it is yer wearin' that makes ya smell so good. Because ya smell pretty.
• We can hold hands now. Ya don't need to wash'em. Okay, maybe just wash'em a little. Sorry - I'm gettin' better at this human contact thing.
• I squeezed 10 pounds of oranges into half a litre of juice for ya. If that's nae love, then I can't be arsed to figure out what is.
• I suppose now I'm in a love triangle with ya and all those other blokes. Wait - love TRIANGLE? Illuminati confirmed.
• Did ya... want to go outside together? What? Don't look at me like I'm daft! I'm a ginger voluntarily invitin' ya into the sun! Ya should feel honored!
• When the zombie apocalypse begins, get to ma house as quickly as ye can. I have a plan to protect us. And nine thousand packages of girl guide cookies.
• I was thinkin' of orderin' a couple of lemur costumes. For roleplay. Ah, just kiddin'!
• I still get the odd lemur impulse. Or at least I hope they're lemur impulses. Otherwise I might just be a bit odd in the head.
• I built ya a new computer rig, complete with some script kiddie stuff so we can DDOS together. Just like a normal couple!
• I was hackin' into the NSA's firewall today, when ma mind wandere and I started thinkin' of ya. Ya didn't know it, but yer the best cyber defense in the world right now.
• (Naked) With ma acute senses, I can tell the air conditionin' is on. I'm like a bloody superhero when I'm naked.
• (Naked) Ya best be aware that I don't do casual nudity. It's sexy time or bust with this hacker-formerly-known-as-lemur.
• (Naked) I have an irrational fear I'm goin' to catch ma junk in the door. Wait, did I say irrational?
• (Naked) Aye, the rumors be true. Drapes and carpets and all that. And if ya make one snarky comment about "fire crotch" I'm goin' to hack yer facebooks.
• (Naked) Listen, I hate to waste a perfectly good "bein' naked". We should at least go on Chatroulette and make people uncomfortable or something.
• (Naked) Kiddin' aside, I hope ya like what ya see. Naked Anon is a rare sight in the wild. We be shy creatures.
• (Naked) Ya want to spoon and whisper inappropriate things to each other? I warn ya - if ya take little spoon, ya be gettin' a much different experience.
• (Naked) Ya know what they say about skin bein' the "largest organ". Well it's true. And ma pedantic nature won't even let me make a joke about it and ma junk.
• (Naked) If yer nae enjoyin' the view, may I request a t-shirt? Ma nips could cut glass at this point.

Poke

• Torture is outlawed by the Geneva convention, ya prat!
• Gawd damn it! How are yer hands so fast and strong? Ye've got the hands of a journeyman carpenter or something.
• Ahaha! No! Bad! Keep yer hands to yerself, before I DDOS yer favorite websites into the ground!
• (Naked) Stop it! I hate ma laugh, especially ma naked laugh. Aye, that's a thing!
• (Naked) Ah ha ha! No! Bad touch! Ye already lemur-ed ma dignity away, stop with the tickles!
• (Naked) Oh fine! But my revenge tickles will reduce ye to a blatherin' mess of aroused giggles!
• (Naked) Oi! None of that now! Nae unless it be leadin' to mutual nakedness and crazy amounts of love makin'. Like, just an unreasonable amount of love makin'.

Gift

• ...I dunno what to say... Thanks luv... It's... good.
• Bloody hell, yer generous. Like in a weird way. It kind of turns me on a bit, no lie.
• More stuff, aye? I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't like more stuff.
• Thanks luv. Yer sweeter than the first sip of red bull in the morning.
• [Boxers] Nothin' like a proper banana hammock to make a man feel truly comfortable.
• [Birthday Suit] Whoop, there go ma clothes. I'm glad to see yer usin' that magic of yers properly now.
• [Spooky Outfit] Hey luv. I'm dressed in honor of all the poor scrubs I've rekt online. I remember each of their deaths, and they're all funny to me. Fear the reaper, noobs.
• [Butler Outfit] I drew ye a bath. It's got candles, a mountain of bubbles, a couple o' mallard ducks, and judging by the massive tentacle draped over the tub, a kraken. Well, I didn't so much "draw" it as I did PhotoTune it. I'm gonna call it "Epic Bath Time" and see how many plusvotes it gets online.
• [Kigurumi Outfit] I like this, but I don't want anyone else to know l like it. So let's just turn off our phones, make sure all the curtains are closed, crank the A/C, and go from there.
• [Summer Outfit] This might surprise ye, but I quite like to barbecue. Steak, kebabs, corn on the cobb - I'll make whatever ye like, as long as we can go back inside once the food's done.
• [Masquerade Outfit] Whatever the game, yeh'll forever be ma player two.
• [RPG Outfit] Haha, yes! Let's have an old-fashioned LAN party! We'll stay up all night making our characters do stuff in the game.
• [Kimono Outfit] Why's there so many layers to this? I feel a bit like an onion. Or a cake! Cakes have layers... I dunno what I'm sayin', I'm probably a bit loopy after stayin' awake for the 48-hour heckathon.
• [Pirate Outfit] I absolutely would download a car.

Upgrade to Lover+ (Endless)

1. Oi! I can't even fit all the crap ya give me into my apartment anymore. I'm startin' to think yer doin' it on purpose!
2. Ack, don't give me that look. Ya know how I really feel. But I gotta make ya feel a little awkward, or I'm gonna get REALLY awkward.

Date Dialogue

Animal Version (Adversary to Friendzone)

• [Dinner] Hahaha! I told ye those lemur selfies would pay for themselves. Now I'm the official mascot of three restaurants, two sports teams, and a largely fiber-based cereal!
• [Boat Ride] It's bloody well barbaric! If ye can't find a power outlet in the middle of a lake while ridin' on the back of some plastic pink monstrosity, then I don't want to live on this planet anymore!
• [Coaster] Yer just jealous that I'm so good at multitaskin' that I can text and coast at the same time.
• [Carnival] Oh, just snuggle up and watch. Ye've heard of Netflix and chill? Well this is Netflix and... chillin'? Somathing. Whatever, shut up, I'm watchin' ma stories.

Hybrid/Human Version (Awkward Besties to Lover)

• [Dinner] Gawd, is there any greater achievement of mankind than unlimited free bread? There's nae. I checked.
• [Boat Ride] Those Koi fish now have 59,000 followers. And a lot of creepy fanart on 4chan. The internet didn't let me down today.
• [Coaster] Look, all's well that ends well. Sure, the roller coaster crashed. But now that's a thing we can look back on fondly together. Brings a tear to ma eye.
• [Carnival] Ye be scared yer way, and I'll be mine. While ye were shakin' in yer boots at cardboard ghosties, I was checkin' the crypto market. Talk about fear!

Unlocked at Lover Level

• [Masquerade] Aye luv, I'll put the phone down and dance ye up proper. But first the selfie. Always the selfie first.

Dialogue About Cole

• Bloody ashes! Some MONSTER broke into my flat, snuck into my room, and dumped all my clean laundry on the floor! Now I have to sanitize and fold it all again. Frick!
• Got an anonymous message last night, threatening to kill me. I tracked the IP back to my own flat. Either someone is hiding in my house, or I'm really mad at myself.
• I've been noticing a lot more death threats than usual. Either I played really well last night, or I've got a stalker bent on taking me out. Meh. That's the internet for ya.
• Oh I tracked those nasty messages back to some bloke named 'Cole'. He didn't look too dangerous. Still, now I've got his info on a dead man's trigger. If I ever go missing, the feds'll get his info lickety split.
• Someone's been tampering with my security system. Normally I'd be pretty cheesed, but they did a good job. I'm setting up a better one, and hope they have another go at it.
• Something terrible happened. I sat down to eat last night. And in my food, I found... A hair. Someone has made an enemy this day. My revenge will be swift and lemon scented.

Requirements Table

 Main article: Anon/Requirements.

Trivia

• Anon is a germaphobe.
• He smokes weed, at least recreationally.
• He loves cats.
• He makes several references to being internet savvy (/b/, 4chan, doxxing, "Navy Seal" copypasta, etc)
• Judging by his appearance (bright green eyes, bright red hair) and Nina's stronger accent, Anon is most likely Scottish.
• He is related to Nina from Crush Crush. He is likely her brother, as implied by Theo.
• Basil mentions a "league of redheads" which could be Anon and his family.
• The phone Anon has when he's a lemur resembles that of the first iPhone.
• His requirements were rebalanced for V.0.20 - affection needed decreased, some hobby levels decreased, and some gift requirements changed:
  • Awkward Besties - 50,000 Coffees to 10,000 Coffees
  • Crush - 666 Calculators to 69 Calculators
  • Boyfriend - 1,000 Games to 100 Games
  • Lover - 2 Laptops to 1 Laptop

Galleries

 Main article: Anon/Gallery.

Phone Fling

Cellphone

• 
  Contact Photo
• 
  Full Body Profile

Photos

• 
  But it was worth it to have the place to myself.
• 
  Sending you a pic. I want you to tell me if I’m doing this “unplugged” thing correctly.
• 
  In the interest of fairness, here’s a little something to help you see me in yours…

Memory Album

Relationship Events & Pinups

PC

• 
  Encounter Photo 1
• 
  Encounter Photo 2
• 
  Frenemy Photo
• 
  Awkward Besties Photo
• 
  Transformation Photo (Old)
• 
  Transformation Photo
• 
  Lover Photo
• 
  Anon's Pinup (Old)
• 
  Anon's Pinup
• 
  Halloween Pinup (Old)
• 
  Halloween Pinup
• 
  Festive Pinup
• 
  Anon's Bed Pinup (Boxers/Steam version)

Mobile

• 
  Encounter Photo 1
• 
  Encounter Photo 2
• 
  Frenemy Photo
• 
  Awkward Besties Photo
• 
  Tranformation Photo
• 
  Lover Photo
• 
  Anon's Pinup
• 
  Halloween Pinup Photo (starring Volks and Anon)
• 
  Festive Pinup (excluding Kelby)
• 
  Anon's Bed Pinup (Clothed/Mobile version)

Dates

Animal

• 
  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
• 
  Coaster
• 
  Carnival

Hybrid

• 
  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
• 
  Coaster
• 
  Carnival

Human

• 
  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
• 
  Coaster
• 
  Carnival
• 
  Masquerade

Date Sprites

Animal

PC

• 
  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
• 
  Coaster
• 
  Carnival

Mobile

• 
  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
• 
  Coaster
• 
  Carnival

Hybrid

PC

• 
  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
• 
  Coaster
• 
  Carnival

Mobile

• 
  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
• 
  Coaster
• 
  Carnival

Human

PC

• 
  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
• 
  Coaster
• 
  Carnival
• 
  Masquerade

Mobile

• 
  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
• 
  Coaster
• 
  Carnival
• 
  Masquerade

Default Sprites

Animal

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Mad
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

• 
  Happy
• 
  Mad
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Hybrid

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Human

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Outfit Sprites

Outfits for Anon cost  10 Diamonds each

Boxers

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Spooky Outfit

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Butler Outfit

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Kigurumi Outfit

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Masquerade Outfit

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Summer Outfit

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

RPG Outfit

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Kimono Outfit

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Pirate Outfit

PC

• 
  Happy
• 
  Likes You
• 
  Neutral
• 
  Shy
• 
  Tickled
• 
  Tickled Happy

Icons

Main Tab

• 
  Locked (Animal)
• 
  Locked (Human)
• 
  Unlocked (Animal)
• 
  Unlocked (Hybrid)
• 
  Unlocked (Human)

Achievements

• 
  Locked
• 
  Animal
• 
  Hybrid
• 
  Human

LTE

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
  Pinup Reward
• 
  Anon's Bed Pinup Reward (Steam version)
• 
  Anon's Bed Pinup Reward (Mobile version)

Extra

Promotional Material

• 
  Line Up
• 
  Chibi Anon

Birthday

• 
  2024 & 2025