Albert

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Albert is an exclusive guy from Blush Blush that can be obtained from the Butler Academy Event. He is the twenty-sixth (26th) guy in the game's main tab.

You encounter him at the S.T.F. University library, where he has stayed up so late grading papers that he has become a literal night owl.

Personality

Albert is a curious and well-spoken British gentleman. He is proper, somewhat reserved, and quietly geeky. Endearingly distracted and charmingly awkward, he’s smart without being self-important and deeply devoted to learning.

Appearance

Albert is a tall, muscular man with a refined appearance. He has neatly styled dark brown hair with distinctive white streaks at the front, mirrored in his eyebrows, sideburns and the tips of his well-groomed beard and mustache. He wears a focused expression, and his sharp features are framed by a pair of maroon-colored horn-rimmed glasses.

His default outfit consists of a brown three-piece suit with a mustard-colored vest over a tan dress shirt, paired with a bold blue tie. A matching blue pen is tucked into his jacket pocket, and he carries a hardcover book in the same shade in his left hand. The outfit is completed with neatly pressed brown trousers, a matching leather belt, and polished cap-toed brown Oxford shoes.

Dialogue List

Albert comes voiced without needing to purchase the Full Voice Bundle.

First Meeting

1. Media:Albert Full VO Story Intro 1.wav
   You're wandering through the STF University library when you hear a soft "Honk...hoooot... Honk...hoooot..." coming from behind a row of shelves.
2. Media:Albert Full VO Story Intro 2.wav
   Following the sound, you find a drowsy academic owl at one of the quiet study tables, surrounded by textbooks and stacks of paper. "Hooooo... WHO?! Hoo! I beg your pardon! Is it office hours already? I must have dozed off at some point..."
3. Media:Albert Full VO Story Intro 3.wav
   Wait a second... owls aren't usually professors, are they? "Let me guess: your most pressing question is no longer about the reading. Well, t'would seem I stayed up too late marking... and literally became a night owl! Alas, essays don't grade themselves!"

Relationship Dialogue

Relationship Dialogue

Adversary Pop-up Dialogue Media:Albert Full VO 033.wav Professor Albert Darcy, at your service. I'm the head of the Philosophy department here at STF University. Please, Mr. Darcy was my father. Talk Media:Albert Full VO 001.wav I've managed to keep this whole owl business a secret so far, but I have a class to run later! *sigh* My students are going to think this is an absolute hoot... Media:Albert Full VO 002.wav If I seem overly calm for someone hoo has undergone such a drastic transformation, it's only because the end of term is looming and I can only flap in panic about one thing at a time. Media:Albert Full VO 003.wav I coughed up my first pellet this morning - cafeteria food. Between you and me, I may have preferred bits of vole... Media:Albert Full VO 004.wav Why yes, I am wearing glasses. Even as a bloody bird of prey with binocular night-vision, I'm somehow still nearsighted... Unbelievable... Media:Albert Full VO 005.wav To think, I've read the works of history's greatest philosophers. Aristotle. Kant. Yankovic. And yet none of those brainiacs wrote a single thing that could help me understand this. Poke Media:Albert Full VO 042.wav Hoo! Watch yourself, now! I nearly gave you a nip of the beak! Gift Media:Albert Full VO 045.wav Well, it's... better than the things I've been coughing up, I suppose... Upgrade to Acquaintance Media:Albert Full VO 060.wav You know, students are always giving me cockamamie sob stories about why they need extensions, and in the interest of preserving my time and sanity, I rarely deviate from my go-to answer... Media:Albert Full VO 061.wav ...Which happens to be "I don't give a hoot about your excuses". You don't think this is all some cosmic punishment as opposed to a random fluke of nature, do you? Of course not. It can't be. Acquaintance Pop-up Dialogue Media:Albert Full VO 034.wav Hoo - ahem. How do you do? Talk Media:Albert Full VO 006.wav Well, I just had my first class since "the incident". My students walked into the hall, saw me at the lectern, and turned to leave! I had to remind them I'm a highly educated owl, thank you very much! Media:Albert Full VO 007.wav It's not all bad. I don't need a ladder anymore to reach all those books gathering dust at the top of the library stacks. Now, as for turning the pages without my talons tearing them to shreds... Media:Albert Full VO 008.wav I used to love teaching Plato's Allegory of the Cave. Now whenever I bring it up I just get peckish thinking about all the rodents probably hiding out down there... Media:Albert Full VO 009.wav Talk about an identity crisis! When strangers assume I'm brilliant, how am I to know, now, whether it's because I'm a professor, or an owl? Of course, whether or not they're correct in either case, I couldn't say... Media:Albert Full VO 010.wav I most certainly do not deliver letters to my students! Even fuddy duddy old professors like me know how to operate the e-mail! Poke [Same as Adversary] Gift Media:Albert Full VO 046.wav I'm sure I can find a place for this in my office, um, somewhere... Although... I may have to do a bit of decluttering, first... Upgrade to Frenemy Media:Albert Full VO 062.wav I must admit, I'm hideously embarrassed. Not about being turned into an owl, and all that my new animal nature... entails... Media:Albert Full VO 063.wav I'm embarrassed that I spent at least five minutes trying to pick up my favorite marking pen before finally realizing this isn't a cartoon and thus my wingtip feathers do not work as fingers do... Media:Albert Full VO Friendship.wav [With 'Friend' picture] "You're jolly good company. Thanks for getting me out of my stuffy office so I can 'spread my wings,' as the saying goes." Sure, you could remind him that in his case it's NOT just a saying, but on the other hand, the good professor looks real funny strutting down the path like he thinks he's people. Frenemy Pop-up Dialogue Media:Albert Full VO 035.wav Don't you dare walk in here and say you've come to "donate to my museum". I've heard that joke ten times already this week, and I still don't get it! Talk [Same as Acquaintance] Poke [Same as Acquaintance] Gift [Same as Acquaintance] Upgrade to Friendzone Media:Albert Full VO 064.wav It's curious. Speaking to your social circle, I've learned that how we all became animals varies in ways bordering on random, but the sort of animal somehow always reflects our individual nature. Media:Albert Full VO 065.wav Take me: a professor turned into a wise owl. It's too perfect, too poetic... Almost as if it were by design. But whose design? A question with seismic implications, to be sure... Friendzone Pop-up Dialogue Media:Albert Full VO 036.wav You certainly are a sight for sore eyes. Literally - I'm really not built for daylight anymore... Talk Media:Albert Full VO 011.wav If we accept the premise that what separates humans from animals is our foreknowledge of our own eventual deaths, then it stands to reason that I am still human, beak and feathers be damned! Media:Albert Full VO 012.wav Really, I ought to be rather less concerned with the 'how' and the 'why' of my transformation than I am with how it fits into the greater study of Philosophy. I hoot, therefore I am? Media:Albert Full VO 013.wav So. Read any good... treatises or dialectics, lately? Sorry, I'm a cracking lecturer, but it would seem I'm slightly rusty when it comes to making conversation with people I... want to like me. Media:Albert Full VO 014.wav It's small potatoes, but do you know what perplexes me? The fact that I'm able to make recognizable speech sounds. It goes against everything we know about language - I don't even have lips, for pity's sake! Media:Albert Full VO 015.wav I'd consult with a certain colleague of mine to see if there's a scientific explanation for this, but we're not on speaking terms after I told her string theory sounds more like Philosophy than Physics. Media:Albert Full VO 016.wav So I said, "Nietzsche? I'll tell you owl about him!" ...Ah, that's quite all right, nobody in the lecture hall laughed, either. Poke [Same as Adversary, Acquaintance, & Frenemy] Gift [Same as Acquaintance, & Frenemy] Upgrade to Awkward Besties Media:Albert Full VO 066.wav Well, I may not have gotten any closer to understanding the precise cause or even the broader philosophical significance of my predicament, but you really mustn't think it's through any fault of yours. Media:Albert Full VO 067.wav You've been an exemplary research partner and a steadfast friend. Thank you. Thank you. Media:Albert Full VO Kiss.wav [With "Kiss" picture] "Do you... That is... Do you mind terribly if I..." The professor may be at a loss for words, but you're pretty sure you know what he's asking for anyway. So you kiss him. "I was wondering how that would feel. Oh!" Seems he was so distracted by the kiss he didn't realize he wasn't an owl anymore! Awkward Besties Pop-up Dialogue Media:Albert Full VO 037.wav Oh, hello! Care to come in for a cuppa? I must warn you, though, it's herbal. No more caffeine for this night owl, I'm afraid! Talk Media:Albert Full VO 017.wav I must admit, the wings are certainly striking to look at - and handy for dusting, to boot! But having all my jackets altered has been no small expense on a professor's salary, even with tenure! Media:Albert Full VO 018.wav A student told me to "Look on the bright side, at least with all those feathers you always have a quill handy!" How old does he think I am? I use a fountain pen, thank you very much! Media:Albert Full VO 019.wav I must be growing awfully familiar with you; I have the urge to remove my jacket and loosen my tie. You better watch out - before too long I'll be rolling up my shirtsleeves! Media:Albert Full VO 020.wav I hear you're acquainted with a couple of my pupils. If you're hoping to secure them a better grade, start by teaching them the importance of attendance. Class cutting makes me grind my beak - er, teeth. Media:Albert Full VO 021.wav You've got a rather disarming smile. Has anyone ever told you that? Oh, what am I saying - of course you must hear it all the time... Media:Albert Full VO 022.wav One might call me the Plato to your Socrates. After all, I do find myself hanging on to every word you say. Media:Albert Full VO 023.wav I was just reading the most wonderful passage, and it caused me to think of you. Are you by chance familiar with Kierkegaard's Works of Love? If not, I'd be pleased to give you a private lesson. Media:Albert Full VO 024.wav You know? That's enough textbook reading for today. Let's go for fish and chips! I can always read the newspaper it's wrapped in if I start to miss squinting at tiny text. Poke Media:Albert Full VO 043.wav It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single professor in possession of a fine head of feathers, must be in want of a preening partner. Gift Media:Albert Full VO 047.wav Did you pick this up for me when you last went round the shops? How thoughtful! Though, you really needn't have brought me anything... Upgrade to Crush Media:Albert Full VO 068.wav I'm relieved I still have all my hair. The stress was making me molt, and I was worried when I regained human form, I'd have a receding hairline! ...I do still have all my hair, yes? Be honest. Media:Albert Full VO 069.wav Thanks for the reassurance. Philosophers may be preoccupied with such lofty matters as the meaning of life, but that doesn't mean I don't have space in my cluttered mind to care about my appearance! Crush Pop-up Dialogue Media:Albert Full VO 038.wav Now see here! How's a chap supposed to get any reading done while you're around? You're altogether too distracting; I really must protest. Hold on, that doesn't mean I want you to leave! Talk [Same as Awkward Besties] Poke [Same as Awkward Besties] Gift Media:Albert Full VO 048.wav Cor blimey! How did you know to get me this? I think I rather underestimate how perceptive you are. Well no more! To that end... would you care to proofread this paper I'm writing? Upgrade to Sweetheart Media:Albert Full VO 070.wav I don't know what it is about you, but you awaken my mind and my senses to an utterly unprecedented degree. Why, I hardly need my daily three cups of tea anymore! Media:Albert Full VO 071.wav I feel like I should be using your... abilities to get through some of the more boring, long-winded tomes on my shelves... But to be honest, I'd rather do something FUN together! Any ideas? Sweetheart Pop-up Dialogue Media:Albert Full VO 039.wav How lovely of you to stop by. And just when I was about to succumb to boredom. Tell me, do you know any good philosophy puns? Just to perk me up, mind you. I'm not planning on stealing your material. Talk [Same as Awkward Besties & Crush] Poke [Same as Awkward Besties & Crush] Gift [Same as Crush] Upgrade to Boyfriend Media:Albert Full VO 072.wav Lately I've been overcome with this vague unsettled feeling. I thought it might be the constant hunger of the wild predator, so far removed from our sated human existence we no longer recognize it. Media:Albert Full VO 073.wav But maybe it's just boring old worry that once my little problem's done and dusted, our relationship will be too. So if I may be so bold... have you considered sticking around just for the hell of it? Boyfriend Pop-up Dialogue Media:Albert Full VO 040.wav I need some fresh air. Have you ever been read poetry in a rowboat by a British academic? Yes, I realize Kant is more my usual fare, but I do dabble in the occasional dirty limerick! Interested? Talk Media:Albert Full VO 025.wav You know, I looked at you just now and completely forgot what I was going to say? How very silly of me... Media:Albert Full VO 026.wav Can I tell you something a bit pathetic? Promise not to laugh? I've been hoping for rain so I could offer to share my umbrella with you. But since the clouds won't cooperate, how about a parasol? Media:Albert Full VO 027.wav Am I an owl that dreamed I was a man? Or a man that dreamed I was an owl? Well, at least so long as you're here, it's a good dream. Media:Albert Full VO 028.wav Can I admit to a little insecurity of mine? I'm worried you think I'm looming... but I actually just want to be around you! It's not my fault my owlish features make my actions seem... ominous. Media:Albert Full VO 029.wav I really must insist you sit in on one of my classes. Not because I want to show off - although, that too... Mostly I'm dying to hear your take on the course material! Poke Media:Albert Full VO 044.wav You saucy thing... I'd tell you to behave, but I'm enjoying your naughty hands too much! Gift Media:Albert Full VO 049.wav Clever clogs. Now you're just showing off. I'll allow it. Upgrade to Lover Media:Albert Full VO 074.wav According to Aristophanes, human beings all used to be round, two-faced, four-legged critters. Then Zeus split us all in two, leaving us forever wounded, searching for our "other halves". Media:Albert Full VO 075.wav Which I thought was a rather silly, simplistic way of understanding love... until I met you. Not sure I'd jump straight to the human beach ball thing, but you really do make me feel whole, somehow. Media:Albert Full VO Human Transform.wav [With "Transformation" picture] "I realize that's terribly cliché, but it's true. And, frankly, if baring my heart's truth is cliché, then-" You cut Albert off with a kiss, his body relaxing against yours. Sometimes you can tell the truth without words, and this is one of those times. And as you complete each other, the universe showers you in bubbles; the curse is broken! Media:Albert Full VO Love.wav [With "Lover" picture] "Use this as a bookmark in your favorite book... or make it your mobile phone background or whatever it is you young people do. Just so long as you think of me as often as I think of you!" - XX, Albert Sex Scene "Now, ahem... Aristophanes also says in order to be whole we must reunite physically. As close as our bodies allow, if you catch my meaning..." Cutting him off with a kiss, you press against him, letting his hardness make his point. Yeah, you'll be whole soon enough, but for now, the universe showers you in bubbles; the curse is broken! Albert's touch is gentle, his expression studious and sincere. When your bodies come together, it's with a reverence that proves he really believes two souls can become one again. As you make love, he stares deep into your eyes, a wordless promise of loyal passion, You're overcome by how intense he can be, with no trace of his former awkwardness... until he rolls off of you and blushes. "Oh. Oh dear. I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me just then. Love, I suppose." Can it come over him again? Soon? Lover Pop-up Dialogue Media:Albert Full VO 041.wav Well, well, well. Look who's come around. Give us a kiss, won't you? Talk [Same as Boyfriend] Poke [Same as Boyfriend] Gift [Same as Boyfriend] Upgrade to Max Lover Media:Albert Full VO 076.wav The term "platonic love" actually comes from the "platonic ideal" - which refers to anything that's in its purest, truest form - and Plato's belief that non-romantic love is the purest form of love. Media:Albert Full VO 077.wav But who died and put Plato in charge of feelings? Because from where I'm standing, the love I share with you is the truest form of love, and it is very romantic! And involves snogging! So there. Max Lover (Lover+) Pop-up Dialogue Media:Albert Full VO 094.wav Oh good, you're here. I was hoping you'd be game to lay your head in my lap while I read to you and perhaps play with your hair? Media:Albert Full VO 095.wav Just who I needed to see, right when I needed to see them most. I've been lecturing on nihilism all afternoon and I could really use a laugh. Or a hug. Or a fortifying cup of tea. Okay, all three. Media:Albert Full VO 096.wav I'm so glad I'm not an owl anymore. Seeing you brightens my day, a talent which would be wasted on a nocturnal creature! Media:Albert Full VO 097.wav What a coincidence! I was just thinking about how I needed a good excuse to cancel my office hours and take an extra long lunch. What're you in the mood for: pub grub, fine dining, or a picnic? Media:Albert Full VO 098.wav Oh! Here I was thinking my romantic feelings for you were making my vision hazy, when the whole time I just needed to clean my glasses! Frankly, I'm relieved. I'd much rather get a good look at you. (Naked) Oh, this? I noticed you were always trying to charm the pants off me, so I decided to save you a little effort this time. (Naked) Thank goodness you're here! I've been waiting around starkers for positively ages! (Naked) As you see, I'm ready for you... Ready, and raring to go. Tally-ho. Talk Media:Albert Full VO 030.wav You little stinker... Don't think I didn't notice that mischievous twinkle in your eye. What are you up to now, eh? If you want something from me, you need only ask... Media:Albert Full VO 031.wav Will you rub my temples? These essays are giving me a headache, but I need my pen-hand free to keep up the pace on my marking. Assuming I want to get to bed on time and avoid waking up as an owl... Media:Albert Full VO 032.wav I don't care if it's corny... I'm saying it. I may not be an owl any longer, but so long as I'm with you, I'll always feel as though my heart has wings: free and unfettered and wild. Media:Albert Full VO 078.wav So I've been thinking... Alright, that's a poor choice of words - I'm always thinking - some would say OVERthinking - but I digress. What was I talking about again? Never mind. Nice, um... butt? Media:Albert Full VO 079.wav How do you feel about brisk walks? I like to take one every afternoon so I can publicly mutter to myself like a misunderstood genius. Having you along might spoil the effect, but you're worth it. Media:Albert Full VO 080.wav So what do YOU think the meaning of life is? I'm being serious! You live yours so authentically, and so full of love... You must have a perspective worth sharing! Media:Albert Full VO 081.wav You may not know this, but I am a force to be reckoned with at the campus pub quiz nights! ...Just so long as nobody asks me questions involving maths. Media:Albert Full VO 082.wav I'm pleased to inform you we've reached the point in our relationship where I am willing to loan you my books. In fact, I may just love you enough to forgive you if you return them dog-eared! Media:Albert Full VO 083.wav Oh... Oh dear... Would you look at that... It seems a few of those tricky little buttons have come undone on my shirt... How scandalous! What's next, showing wrist? Media:Albert Full VO 084.wav People think academics are sun-starved, feeble little pencil-necks, but have you seen the size of the hardcover books I lug around? Exactly. Go on, feel my biceps! Media:Albert Full VO 085.wav You never fail to utterly fascinate me. How can my feelings for you be so simple and straightforward when you are so layered and multifaceted? Media:Albert Full VO 086.wav "I think, therefore I am?" How about, "I love, therefore I am yours"? Media:Albert Full VO 087.wav The best philosophers may cause me to think, to question, to ponder... But you're the one who makes me laugh. I rather think that makes you the greatest mind of all. (Naked) I thought, perhaps, instead of a symposium, we could try out another time-honored Greek tradition: wrestling! Naked, of course. That's the way the Grecians did it, after all! (Naked) Care to take a guess as to how many licks it takes to get to the creamy center of my lollipop? (Naked) My physique? Well I won't pretend I got this way through thought exercises. I was actually captain of the rowing team at my alma mater back in England. You could say I'm a master at... stroking. (Naked) I was trying to better understand the mindset of the ascetic who foregoes all comforts and worldly possessions, but now I'm a bit chilly. So how about I abandon my research and we just cuddle? (Naked) Mrow! Is it your turn to lie back and think of England this time, or mine? Just kidding, I never have to think of England when I'm with you. In fact, I don't think of much of anything at all... (Naked) How do you feel about... corporal punishment? I never much liked the cane when I was a student myself, but between lovers it might be rather fun... Only if you're game, of course - the safe word can be "Freud!" (Naked) Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you - pffft! I'm sorry, I just had to! Wait, don't tell me you don't get that reference... Oh, now I feel dreadfully old! Quick, we have to come up with a way to make me feel young again! (Naked) And now for something completely different... How about I put my clever mouth to use doing something other than talking for an hour or two? (Naked) Are you a leather bound book? Because I want to open you up and dive in face first for hours... Poke Media:Albert Full VO 088.wav Oh-ho-ho-ho! S-stop it! This is undignified! I have tenure! Ohoho! Media:Albert Full VO 089.wav Cheeky! Careful now, or I'll be forced to pin you against the nearest flat surface! Media:Albert Full VO 090.wav Away, away! I'm trying to concentrate! Oh, very well. I guess Sartre won't mind, seeing as he's dead and all. But you better make this distraction worthwhile. Go on, do your worst! (Naked) Come now... Put your back into it! (Naked) Ah... Mmm... That is positively divine, what you're doing right now. A+. Top marks. See me after class... Etcetera... (Naked) You naughty thing... I ought to show you a thing or two... (Naked) Now what could you possibly be angling at, touching me that way? Just kidding, I know exactly what you want and by golly, are you ever going to get it! Gift Media:Albert Full VO 050.wav Why, it's positively splendid! You're positively splendid! Media:Albert Full VO 091.wav You're joking. You didn't! I can't believe - But how?! I'm flabbergasted - nay, flummoxed! What a treat! Media:Albert Full VO 092.wav You're so sweet, I should cut you up and smother you in a trifle. ...Sorry. That sounded less violent in my head. Media:Albert Full VO 093.wav You're quite the little show-off, aren't you? That's all right, I happen to rather like an apple polisher from time to time. And you're a particularly fetching one. Media:Albert Full VO 118.wav [Boxers] Forgive me, I took my sock garters off already. I should have asked you if you'd rather I left them on... Media:Albert Full VO 115.wav [Birthday Suit] Taking our clothes off, are we? How intriguing... Media:Albert Full VO 125.wav [Spooky Outfit] How do you do, fellow undergrads? Did I say it right? Media:Albert Full VO 126.wav [Butler Outfit] This is going to be great hands-on research for my thesis on the philosophy of service careers! Media:Albert Full VO 140.wav [Kigurumi Outfit] Aha! I finally understand why so many of my students come to lecture hall in their bedclothes. I'm just so comfy wumfy! Media:Albert Full VO 141.wav [Masquerade Outfit] When you think about it, there may never be a moment where we don't wear one mask or another... Figuratively, anyway. Media:Albert Full VO 142.wav [Summer Outfit] I'm not much of a golfer, to be honest, but this outfit is still a hole in one! Heh heh... Media:Albert Full VO 143.wav [RPG Outfit] My intelligence and wisdom are in tip top shape, so if you need an insight check I'm your man. Just please don't hit me with a fireball, because I will cry. Media:Albert Full VO 144.wav [Kimono Outfit] This scroll? Well, I'm happy for people to assume it's philosophical writings by noted Japanese scholar Kitaro Nishida, but no... it's a list of date night ideas for us. Do you want to hear a few? Media:Albert Full VO 146.wav [Pirate Outfit] In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral... I am the very model of a modern Major-General! ...Sorry, did I earworm you? Upgrade to Lover+ (Endless) Media:Albert Full VO 116.wav I need to tell you something... slightly unethical. You see, I've been using you as part of some ongoing philosophical research without your knowledge... Media:Albert Full VO 117.wav The subject of that research being, "Can the love between soulmates still deepen over time?" So far, the answer is a resounding "Yes!"

Date Dialogue

Date Dialogue

Animal Version (Adversary to Friendzone) Media:Albert Full VO 057.wav [Dinner] I do so hate to be a bother, which is why I didn't say anything to the waiter at the time... But I did SAY "rat" - and not "ratatouille" - when we ordered, did I not? And my enunciation was clear? Media:Albert Full VO 051.wav [Boat Ride] Ha! I always joked that first year undergrads have a tendency to "imprint" on me... But now I've got first-hand experience teaching baby ducks, t'would seem I wasn't even exaggerating in saying so! Media:Albert Full VO 053.wav [Coaster] I've been an absolutely abysmal date, haven't I? It's nothing to do with you, I swear. It's this blasted nocturnal sleep schedule! Here, I'll prove it - let's try that roller coaster again after sunset! Media:Albert Full VO 055.wav [Carnival] E-excuse me. That excursion appears to have ruffled my feathers, er, somewhat. Do you mind stroking me - very gently! - to smooth them back down? Ahhh... I feel - I mean that feels - much better... Hybrid/Human Version (Awkward Besties to Lover) Media:Albert Full VO 058.wav [Dinner] Ta for the treat, luv. You must have had to pull some strings to have high tea served at a filet mignon and foie gras establishment like this. Media:Albert Full VO 052.wav [Boat Ride] I do apologize for bringing marking along on our date, though I must confess it made the task less tedious. The philosopher Poppins was right - a spoonful of sugar does make the medicine go down! Media:Albert Full VO 054.wav [Coaster] Well, that settles it. I'm not as young as I used to be... even if you do make me feel young. I suppose at least I only lost my tea, and not my lunch. Media:Albert Full VO 056.wav [Carnival] I wasn't scared, I was thinking! That ride reminded me that not even the wisest of us knows when or how their life will end. Rather romantic, then, that I chose to spend that time with you... Unlocked at Lover Level Media:Albert Full VO 059.wav [Masquerade] Very well, you got me. I try not to advertise the fact because it's just so... embarrassingly stereotypical, but I am indeed a total Austen fanboy. You could say I had a "ball" on that date! Ohoho!

Dialogue About Cole

Dialogue About Cole

Media:Albert Full VO 119.wav Who IS that young man always looming in the back of my lectures? I'm usually flattered when unregistered students sit in just for the opportunity to hear me speak but all he does is glower! Media:Albert Full VO 120.wav Someone dumped a crate of tea bags into my bathtub! Of course, I'm offended by such a hideous waste of tea... But where does one even get a wooden crate of anything in this day and age? Media:Albert Full VO 121.wav I've been receiving disturbing mail of late. Several unmarked envelopes each containing a single fragment of broken fine china... And what's worse they're all from royal family commemorative sets! Media:Albert Full VO 122.wav I'm bloody furious! Some cretin broke into my office and rearranged all my marble busts so they're no longer in chronological order. One doesn't simply put the Descartes before the Hippos! Media:Albert Full VO 123.wav Yes, I've seen the anonymous note on my office door. No, I most certainly don't "use student essays to build my nest." How could I? They submit them electronically! And besides, Great Horned Owls don't make nests, they steal them! Harrumph! Media:Albert Full VO 124.wav The campus library said I can't take out any more books until I pay off thousands in fines! Turns out someone has been using my card for months and not returning anything! Who would DO such a thing?!

Requirements Table

 Main article: Albert/Requirements.

Trivia

• His full name is Albert Darcy.
  • In his introduction, he explains that "Mr. Darcy" is his father. This, along with the shared surname, is likely a reference to Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice.
  • His last name being Darcy is also likely a reference to a post on the Sad Panda Studios blog where they ask for character suggestions for both Blush Blush and Crush Crush, and offer example characters- Blush Blush's being Professor Darcy: “The English professor. He’s a sexy well-spoken gentleman with a poetic streak, a charmingly distracted mind, and leather elbow patches on his tweed coat.”
• He admits he is a Jane Austen fanboy.
• He is colleagues with Miss Desirée at S.T.F. University.
• Albert's Halloween Outfit is a reference to Steve Buscemi's character Lenny Wosniak from 30 Rock, specifically his disguise in the iconic “How do you do, fellow kids?” scene.
  • When gifted the outfit, Albert delivers the line with "undergrads" substituted for "kids."
• His frenemy pop-up dialogue references Animal Crossing’s Blathers, the museum-directing owl.
• In his NSFW dialogue, he attempts to reference a famous line from the 1999 movie Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.
  • Original quote: "Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny, baby? Yeah, do I?"
  • Albert's version: "Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you - pffft! I'm sorry, I just had to! Wait don't tell me you don't get that reference... Oh now I feel dreadfully old! Quick we have to come up with a way to make me feel young again!"
• His NSFW dialogue includes a nod to the 1982 Tootsie Pop commercial, "How Many Licks?"
• He is the sixth character to get an animated-pose outfit.
• Biologically, he is the oldest human guy in Blush Blush, being four years older than Mac, who is 36.
• He stands at 6'1", making him the same height as Dmitri and ranking as the 9th tallest man in Blush Blush.
• His zodiac sign is Gemini.
• Albert mentions a wide range of historical, philosophical, literary, and pop culture figures, including:
  • Writers & Playwrights: Jane Austen, Aristophanes
  • Philosophers: Aristotle, Plato, Socrates, Immanuel Kant, Friedrich Nietzsche, Jean-Paul Sartre, Søren Kierkegaard, René Descartes, Kitaro Nishida
  • Mythological Figures: Zeus
  • Psychologists: Sigmund Freud
  • Fictional Characters: Mary Poppins

Galleries

 Main article: Albert/Gallery.

Extra

Promotional Material

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  Albert's PES Teaser
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  Albert's PES Debut
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  Albert's PES Debut Animated

Birthday

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  2026

Full Body

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  Albert's Default Outfit
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  Animated

Memory Album

Relationship Events & Pinups

PC

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  Encounter Photo 1
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  Frenemy Photo
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  Awkward Besties Photo
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  Transformation Photo
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  Lover Photo
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  Pinup Photo

Mobile

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  Encounter Photo 1
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  Frenemy Photo
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  Awkward Besties Photo
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  Tranformation Photo
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  Lover Photo

Dates

Animal

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  Dinner
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  Boat Ride
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  Coaster
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  Carnival

Hybrid

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  Dinner
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  Boat Ride
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  Coaster
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  Carnival

Human

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  Dinner
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  Boat Ride
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  Coaster
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  Carnival
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  Masquerade

Date Sprites

Animal

PC

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  Dinner
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  Boat Ride
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  Coaster
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  Carnival

Mobile

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  Dinner
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  Boat Ride
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  Coaster
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  Carnival

Hybrid

PC

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  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
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  Coaster
• 
  Carnival

Mobile

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  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
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  Coaster
• 
  Carnival

Human

PC

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  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
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  Coaster
• 
  Carnival
• 
  Masquerade

Mobile

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  Dinner
• 
  Boat Ride
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  Coaster
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  Carnival
• 
  Masquerade

Default Sprites

Animal

PC

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  Happy
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  Mad
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Mobile

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  Happy
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  Mad
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Hybrid

PC

• 
  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
• 
  Tickled

Mobile

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Human

PC

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Mobile

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Outfit Sprites

Outfits for Albert cost  10 Diamonds each

Boxers

PC

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Mobile

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Spooky Outfit

PC

• 
  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Mobile

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Butler Outfit

PC

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Mobile

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Kigurumi Outfit

PC

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Mobile

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Masquerade Outfit

PC

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Mobile

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Summer Outfit

PC

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Mobile

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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RPG Outfit

PC

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Mobile

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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Kimono Outfit

PC

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Mobile

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Pirate Outfit

PC

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  Happy
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  Likes You
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  Neutral
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  Shy
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  Tickled

Icons

Main Tab

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  Locked (Animal)
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  Locked (Human)
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  Unlocked (Animal)
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  Unlocked (Hybrid)
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  Unlocked (Human)

Achievements

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  Locked
• 
  Animal
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  Hybrid
• 
  Human

LTE

• 
  Pinup Reward